Sunday, December 31, 2006

al's new year's gift to you

This is my favorite video of the year. For those who don't know Bob Saget, he is a stand-up comic best known for his role in the syrupy sitcom "Full House". For anyone who has only seen him in that show, this video will come as quite a shock. But for anyone who has seen "The Aristocrats", it won't.


Wednesday, December 27, 2006

al the elf


Click
and I'll do my sex dance.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

al's christmas gift to you


Andy Samberg & Justin Timberlake, Saturday Night Live, December 16, 2006

JWWFG

For an explanation, see Katie Schwartz's great post in Amy Guth's Chanukah Blog Tour.

And now, in truly American fashion, you can purchase a JWWFG magnet. Yes, put it on your fridge; amuse your friends and family!

Friday, December 22, 2006

hey, baby, baby, let me light your candles!

Who is this incredibly sexy woman? She's my latest fantasy Jewess, Le Güth.

Her name is Amy and she's written a book. And she has recruited 36 Jewish bloggers including me ("Sensu? Doesn't sound Jewish!") to answer some questions she's written, into which she has deftly laid a promo for her book.

Speaking of laid, I have a question for her, but that will be asked privately.

And now the envelope please:

1. Quick! You must turn a plate of latkes into an upscale gourmet delight (as if they aren't already?). What would you add to them to dress them up, flavor and/or garnish them?

A little cum topping. Beats sour cream.

2. What is the dumbest thing you've ever heard anyone say about Chanukah?

"I'm going to have a Chanukah Blog Tour."

3. What's the best possible use for olive oil?

Slather our naked bodies in it and wrestle.

4. Settle it once and for all. Latkes or hammentaschen? Which do you prefer? What about pitting the winner of that contest against sufganiyot?

Hammentaschen. They're triangle-shaped and I like licking the gooey center. Get it? The sufganiyot is to enjoy in the afterglow.

5. What's the best way to mix up a game of dreidel?

Play strip dreidel...and then when everyone's naked refer back to #3.

6. My novel, Three Fallen Women, shockingly enough, is about the lives of three women. Which three women would you like to have over this year for latkes and why?

Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Emmanuelle Chriqui. Do you really have to ask why? (and they're Jewish, of course). We'll do #5, then #3, then #1.


7. Other than Three Fallen Women (har har), what book do you think would make a great Chanukah gift this year? What book would you like to receive as a gift this year?

I would give The Amorous Busboy of Decatur Avenue by Robert Klein and would like to receive Judaism for Dummies.

8. What bloggers didn't participate in Chanukah Blog Tour 5767 and you think should have?

Dr. Ruth.

Le Güth responds to Al Sensu's proposition.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

from the desk of al sensu

Schwartzie tagged me to display or describe the contents of my desk. Now, most of this is top secret, but I have prepared a photo essay showing selected items that have been declassified, or at least declasse:

1- Czech edition of Playboy purchased at Prague airport
2- salt & pepper shakers purchased at Lincoln's 10,000 Silver Dollar Bar in Haugan, Montana
3 - to do list



close-up of to do list

Czech Playmate profile


close-up of salt & pepper shakers


Publishers Weekly article on erotica


cute postcard


paper clips, post-it notes, stamps and jerk-off cream (for #3 on to do list)

sugasm #59

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #60? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

By Invitation Only (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)

“I was being watched by a room full of people, but all I could think about was his thick cock, pounding me, his balls slapping against my ass.”

Love that aural sex (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)

“…The lazy way your honeyed tones flow out, saying my name, or merely whispering “Is that good, baby? You like that?” as you slide a finger in and out of me, deliberately and slowly.”

What BDSM Can Tell Us All About Sex (part 1) (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)


“That’s another form of power exchange: if I ‘let’ you have sex with someone else, it’s very different than if you sneak off and fuck that person without having permission.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Everyone Diggs Porn (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice


Sandra Claus (http://secretbrain.blogspot.com)

Sponsored Link

G-Spot Orgasm Survey Take the G-spot survey and win one of two £100 LoveHoney sex toy shopping sprees

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

6 Weird Things About Me Sexually…I’ve Been Tagged! (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com)

“F” is for fabulous… (http://blackbookgirls.com)

My Wacky Erotic Mind (http://www.seska4lovers.com)

Sex Toys - Your Next Erotic Frontier (http://sexdriver.blogspot.com)


NSFW Pics (& videos)

Cleanliness is Next to Horniness (http://kitchen-girls.blogspot.com)

Keeley Hazell Calendar 2007 (http://myhotbox.blogspot.com)

Mini-Documentary of me… (video)(http://duckydoo.livejournal.com)


Super hot nude girl from Ron Harris (http://eroticandy.blogspot.com)

Threesome Advice (part 3) (http://www.seskuality.com)


Sex Work

Amateur Porn “Penetration” - Part VI (http://blog.homegrownvideo.com)


Another One About Sex Work (http://sabrinainstockings.com)

Loud Sex (http://www.model-chat.com)

A Quickie (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)


Sexy Humor

10 Unintentionally Naughty and Terrible Domain Names (http://www.teen-porn-site.com)


Erotic Writing and Experiences

Anonymous (http://lafillemariee.blogspot.com)

He Took off My Clothes (http://www.suzanneportnoy.com)

I wanted to lick her out so bad (http://thediaryofanenglishrose.blogspot.com)

My Addiction (http://randisexadpoetry.blogspot.com)

Office Heat - Part 1 (http://dirtytalk.wordpress.com)

Red Light Special (http://ellabeecoquette.blogspot.com)

Snowday Sex (http://mandyseroticlife.blogspot.com)

The Sportscar, Part 2 (http://erotischism.blogspot.com)

Such a Nice Girl (http://onlyamirage.blogspot.com)


Sex and Politics

Masturbation: How to Conquer the Corrupting Habit (http://www.taratainton.com)

Teacher fired for porn past (http://deliciously-naughty.typepad.com)


BDSM and Fetish

A Nawty Story: Jenny’s New Slave (http://anawtymouz.blogspot.com)

Dishonourable Discharge (http://assistantmistress.blogspot.com)

Leaving on a Jet Plane (http://naughtythoughtsinmymind.blogspot.com)

Morning masturbation (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com)

Naval floggings: the girls take their turn (http://www.spankingwriters.com/blog)

Playing at the W, Part III (http://www.betweensheets.net)

Split Penis, Anyone? (Editor’s note: Don’t say we didn’t warn you.) (http://pornster.blogspot.com)


Sex News & Reviews

Blue King Pleasure Scepter Glass Dildo Review (http://stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)

Shay’s Sexmas Gift Guide 2 (http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)


Tuesday, December 12, 2006

sugasm #58

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #58? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

Thanks, Sugasmers, for putting me at the top of the list this week!

This Week’s Picks

6 weird things about me (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com)
“I’ve masturbated to completion more than 13,000 times.”

Polygamy, chastity, and sexual pragmatics (http://www.realadultsex.com)
“Lest you think the “sister-wives” could always take matters into their own or each other’s hands…”

What a woman wants (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
“Tell me about the couple who would have you fuck the wife, and the husband watch.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
My Bare Lady (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice

Don’t you dare cum yet (http://bratmaster.co.uk)

Sponsored Link

G-Spot Orgasm Survey Take the G-spot survey and win one of two £100 LoveHoney sex toy shopping sprees

Sex News & Reviews
Call for Xmas Cocks and Cunts! ( http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)
Discovering New Desires with Naughty Game Play (http://www.taratainton.com )

BDSM and Fetish
Fiction: Timothy and the Pony Girls of the Night ( http://erotiterrorist.blogspot.com)
Happy HNT - Sexy candy cane panties ( http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com )
My imminent chastisement ( http://battletofindmyself.blogspot.com )
The Truth - Confessions of a sissy cock sucker ( http://www.caramelvixen.com/vixen-blog)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Blowjob Monday ( http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)
Mile High Club ( http://wanklog.blogspot.com)
No Words ( http://bigboysa.blogspot.com)
Remembering summer, remembering lust (http://justsexdrugsandrocknroll.blogspot.com)
Sassy Claus (http://nocloudnine.blogspot.com)
Under the Table (http://drtycplinva.blogspot.com)


NSFW Pics (& videos)
Alison Angel - Baywatch ( http://hotboxbabe.thumblogger.com)
Crystal Klein Nude ( http://eroticandy.blogspot.com/)
Fully Nekkid In The Shower HNT (http://stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)
Katie’s sexy striptease ( http://myhotbox.blogspot.com)
Tiffaney 2 ( http://facialsluts.ilovejulienight.com)

Sex & Politics

Anti-Anti-Pornography, Part IV: “Da Vinci Code” is Not Pornography ( http://www.teen-porn-site.com/blog)
The Return of Segregation and Silicone (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com )

Sexy Humor

Ask Art: The Sexual Misadvice Column ( http://secretbrain.blogspot.com )

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Bad Santas! ( http://www.1trackmind.com)
Fellatio, Round 4 ( http://www.betweensheets.net)

Monday, December 11, 2006

got testosterone?

So my doctor told me today my testosterone level is too low. He said it's important to have the correct level for my health.

This explains why I only need to jerk off 5 times a week instead of 10 as I used to.

I told my wife I would be taking testosterone supplements. Let's just say she is scared.

My six inch best friend is happy as hell.

I may be growing old, but don't plan to do it gracefully.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

sugasm #57

This week’s best of the sex blogs from the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #58? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

The Other Side of Hotwifery (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
“Since he had been so cavalier about it prior to my ever actually going through with such an event, I had given almost no thought to how it might affect him.”

The Blender (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)
“You want to pick me? Did I win a contest?”

Meeting in a Car - part one (http://emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)
“His tongue teased hers, and her lips teased his in retaliation”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Welcome to Googlestan! Google Purges Adult Content from Search Results (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice
Desire so overwhelming I could do anything (http://sugarbutch.blogspot.com)

Sponsored Link

iBuzz Two - the new iPod Sex
Toy for couples
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/ibuzztwo/ “Next-gen vibrator gives everything you and your partner need to enjoy music and music-activated vibrations at the same time. Even works with a Zune ;-)

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm


Thoughts on Sex and Relationships


A Way With Words: Aural Fixation (http://exploreros.blogspot.com)

Breaking the golden rule, Part I (http://www.betweensheets.net)

Confronting Things Head-On: How We Got Here (Part 1 of 2) (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)

Sex Addict?! (http://www.model-chat.com)

Sex and the Movies (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com)

“Tossing the Salad” (http://sexeteria.net)


Erotic Writing and Experiences

A Break From The Dance (http://mandyseroticlife.blogspot.com)

Crush - Part II (http://lafillemariee.blogspot.com)

Eyes (http://designingintimacy.blogspot.com)

Guy #2: November 24, 2006 - The Swing (http://mysexualmisadventures.blogspot.com)

He Says (http://sexcakes.blogspot.com)

I am yours (http://wetbeyondbelief.blogspot.com)

Late Night Meeting (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)

Lori – Part II (http://masterenigma.blogspot.com)

My girlfriend the stripper, part 1 (http://erotischism.blogspot.com)

Phoenix Has a Long Night at The Office (http://dirtydetails.blogspot.com)

The School Camp (http://wanklog.blogspot.com)

Why I Love My Job… (http://stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)

Sex News & Reviews

Girls with Guns: There’s Nothing Sexier (http://www.taratainton.com)

Most Erotic Sex Movie Scene (http://ncnewcpl4u.blogspot.com)

Ray Spade Retro Collection (http://retrosexblog.com)

Welcome to “Sir Dirty Joke” by Sir Dirty Joke (http://sexblogwelcome.blogspot.com)

Why You Shouldn’t Spend Money On SkinVideo (http://ylovesporn.com)

Sexy Humor

What did Simon Cowell do before he was famous? (http://sextoysinsider.com)


Sex & Politics

Anti-Anti-Pornography, Part III: A Concept (http://www.teen-porn-site.com/blog)

NSFW Pics (& videos)

First alone thanksgiving (http://stealthbombshell.blogspot.com)

Get a grip! (http://kitchen-girls.blogspot.com)

Half-Nekkid Sex Blogging (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com)

Happy HNT - Sexy Holiday Stockings (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com)

“I Like Men, Women, Angels…” (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com)

MILF sucks on a cock (4) (video) (http://deepthroat.ilovejulienight.com)

BDSM and Fetish

A Nawty Story: Kitten’s Reward and Punishment (http://anawtymouz.blogspot.com)

On Loan, Finale (http://engrailed.com)

Sex Work

What Happened to Good Old Fashioned BDSM? (http://lipstickexplosion.com)

Sunday, December 03, 2006

6 weird things about me

And yet another challenging meme. This time I was tagged by the lovely Megan, and this one comes with rules:

1. Each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you”.

2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly.

3. At the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

So here are my 6:
  1. I’ve tried on multiple occasions to imagine the idea of me sucking another man’s cock. Just doesn’t work for me. Guess I’m too straight. I think the reason it intrigues me is that I love cum shots; could watch them on pornos all day. Now, I have a friend who would be horrified to read this. He doesn’t even want to look at porn if it’s going to show a naked man. I understand why some women love the feeling of hot cum shooting into their mouths, but it’s not for me (in the receiving position).
  2. I’m taking supplements so I’ll produce more semen. It’s working. I’ve been unhappy with the decrease in semen production as I get older.
  3. I’ve masturbated to completion more than 13,000 times. No, I don’t keep count, but I wanked at least daily from ages 17 to 52, so do the math. I’ve missed an occasional day since then. Damn, I’m slowing down. But put me in a hotel on a business trip with the right fantasies, and I can rub off as many as 3 in a day. Pretty good for an old guy.
  4. I didn’t know about masturbation, or at least what it really was and how to do it, until I was 17. Been making up for lost time since then.
  5. The first time I ever orgasmed, it was during a makeout session when I was 16 (remember, this is pre-wanking), and I don’t remember feeling anything until I realized my briefs were wet and sticky.
  6. Since age 16 I have spent a total of 6 months not in a steady relationship or marriage. Not specifically coinciding with those periods, I have lived alone for less than 6 months during my life.
And now for the tags:

Katie - Don - Eva - Jazz - Bella - NV

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

meme, how i hate you, how i hate you

So that twat Katie Schwartz has tagged me for another meme. This is the stupidest meme ever. A waste of time to write, and certainly a waste of time to read. So why did I do it? That bitch controls me -- I'm Jerry Mahoney to her Paul Winchell. Charlie McCarthy to her Edgar Bergen. George W. Bush to her Dick Cheney. Lamb Chop to her Shari Lewis. Kermit to her Frank Oz. William Shakespeare to her Frances Bacon. Linda Lovelace to her Harry Reems. Yes, I'm sucking it big and deep.

DO YOU SNORE?

No, but I schnore. Yes, I am a schnorer.

ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
What's the difference?

WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
Going soft at the wrong moment.

AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
They hadn't come to the US yet. Yes, I'm that old. Lincoln Logs and Tinkertoys.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF REALITY TV?
1 - not reality 2 - boring as shit 3- except for Cathouse

DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
I don't use straws, but I like women who suck on them.

WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
Still am.

IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
No. But what I really want to do is clone myself, so I can have the meaningful, married life I have now, and my other self can go fuck everything in a skirt.

WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
Black. What a stupit question.

DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
Yes, after I cum.

HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
Nope. Doesn't appeal to me.

ANY SECRET TALENTS?
Oral sex.

WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
Any beach.

CAN YOU SWIM?
Yes.

HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO?
No, never heard of it.

DO YOU GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THE OZONE?
Yes, stopped using aerosols years ago.

HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
I actually suck it in and out. Closest I've ever gotten to sucking cock. But I've never counted.

CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
No.

DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER?
Think I'll stick my dick in an electric and see how it feels.

WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
I don't do it, but 1- I make my living in part off of hunters and 2 - I eat meat and wear leather. So as long as the animal is being put to use, I'm fine with it, and for certain species in certain areas it's a necessary form of conservation.

IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
I hope so, as it's in my present.

DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I handwrite as little as possible.

WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
Prudes.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, I LOVE YOU?
This afternoon.

DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
Yes, I'm a sap.

HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
Just about any way except raw. One of my greatest accomplishments was learning how to properly poach them.

ARE BLONDES DUMB?
No. I had a blonde girlfriend once. She looked the dumb blonde part, but turned my head inside out trying to explain string theory to me.

WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
In next week's laundry.

WHAT TIME IS IT?
8:22 pm. This is a stupid meme. Why am I answering it?

DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
Studmuffin.

IS MCDONALDS DISGUSTING?
Best french fries in the world.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
Two hours ago. Still stupid.

DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
Get me a deep long bathtub and I'll prefer that, but until then, showers.

IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
Yes.

DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
Oh, yeah.

ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
No.

WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
Sex and food.

CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
Creamy, spread all over your breasts with jelly.

CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
I can crack your neck, sucka

HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
Yes, hopped up on morphine.

IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
Hell no.

ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
God this is a stupid meme. What's the point?

DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
Uhuh.

ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
Yes, but I'm being treated for it.

HAVE YOU READ CATCHER IN THE RYE?
Only on the carousel in Central Park.

DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
Skin Flute.

HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
I removed some dollars from a stripper's G-string.

CAN YOU SNOWBOARD?
I prefer risky sex.

DO YOU LIKE CAMPING?
I like to screw in the great outdoors.

DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH?
I don't laugh.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
I believe in John Sebastian.

ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
Tits are a man's best friend.

YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
Yes, it's recognized in Judaism. None of this "til death" bullshit. If it works it works, if not...

CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
I can't do the Earth walk.

DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
I nveer mkea miskates.

IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
2 degrees at the moment.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Brownies.

DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
Answering that would be like answering "are you pregnant" on the medical history form.

HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW?
About a dozen. I hate that bitch Schwartz, though.

WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL?
I zap the commercials on TiVO.

DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
I thought they were out of business. Wishful thinking.

FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT?
Spirit on the Water - Bob Dylan

Monday, November 27, 2006

sugasm #56

This week’s best of the sex blogs from the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #57? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Same Time Next Year (http://nocloudnine.blogspot.com)

“She nodded again, grabbing the doorframe as she pushed against the finger.”

Fuck me- it’s friday. (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)

“I won’t pretend to be coy- because I know what I want.”

Sexual Things You Don’t Know About Me (http://www.taratainton.com)

“My own erotic inner self has been piqued these last few days by a wonderful fantasy; maybe I can help pique yours by sharing.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Happy Thanksgiving (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice

Fast and Furious (http://edinerotica.blogspot.com)

Sponsored Link

iBuzz Two - the new iPod Sex

Toy for couples
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/ibuzztwo/
“Next-gen vibrator gives everything you and your partner need to enjoy music and music-activated vibrations at the same time. Even works with a Zune ”

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

Sex News & Reviews

Lesbian Sadomasochistic Schoolgirls for PlayStation 2 (http://adelehaze.com)

Q: Can non nude porn be hot? (http://ylovesporn.com)

Remote Control Wireless Vibrating Egg Review (http://stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)


BDSM and Fetish

Happy HNT - Classroom paddling (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com)

A Nawty Story: Kitten’s After School Special (http://anawtymouz.blogspot.com)

And One for Luck (http://www.spankingwriters.com/blog)

Working late, Part I (http://www.betweensheets.net)


Erotic Writing and Experiences

100 Things I Want To Do Before I Die (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)

clIMax for breakfast (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)

Home cooking, part 3 (http://erotischism.blogspot.com)

Hotel (http://slutissimo2.wordpress.com)

The Other Side of Jen (http://drtycplinva.blogspot.com)

Throbbing Cunt… OH I Need An Orgasm! (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com)

What I did to Devil in a Blue Dress (http://dirtytalk.wordpress.com)


Sex History

Instruction And Advice For The Young Bride (http://bratmaster.co.uk)


Sexy Humor

Chicken Man (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)

Those sexy italians (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com)


NSFW Pics (& videos)

Alison Angel - Christmas (video) (http://hotboxbabe.thumblogger.com)

Black and White Erotic Photos by JS Hicks (http://www.ddgirlsblog.com)

Half-Nekkid and Begging to Be Asked (http://www.TarasNaughtyShop.com)

Happy Thanksgiving! (http://kitchen-girls.blogspot.com)

Shay Laren Masturbates (video) (http://myhotbox.blogspot.com)


Sex Work

PSO’s Thanksgiving (http://sabrinainstockings.com)


Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Craigslist Personals (II) (http://pornster.blogspot.com)

Soft Porn is Greedy (http://www.teen-porn-site.com/blog)


Sex & Politics

A National Addiction to Porn? (http://fullfrontalpolitics.com)

Sex Positive Feminism: A Statement of Beliefs (http://sexualevolution.blogspot.com)

Friday, November 24, 2006

sex and the movies

So Katie Schwartz tagged me for a movie meme. Now, this is a sex blog so all my answers will use that as context:

1. Popcorn or candy?

Popcorn, because of the scene in Diner where Mickey Rourke gets the girl to touch his cock by sticking it up through the bottom of the popcorn box.

2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever.

I am Curious (Yellow). Just added it to my Netflix queue.

3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom?
Tom Schulman, screenplay for Dead Poets Society, 1989. Steven Soderbergh should have won for sex, lies and videotape.
4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe.
Marlon Brando's trenchcoat from Last Tango in Paris. It says "Hey, little girl, come here, I have something for you hehe."

5. Your favorite film franchise is....

Godfather. OK there's not much sex it in. But there's that great bedroom scene with the horse's head.

6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them?

Scarlett Johansson, Catherine Denueve, Amanda Peet, Salma Hayek, Natalie Portman. Because they are hot. Champagne and caviar, then a little bit of Al.

7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?

Shush them.

8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days.

Sarah.

9. What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie?

Jack Nicholson's ass in Something's Gotta Give.

10. Your favorite genre (excluding "comedy" and "drama") is....

Porno made for women.

11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power?

Casting couch.

12. Bonnie or Clyde?

This is a sex blog, and I'm straight. Bonnie.

13. Who am I tagging to answer this survey?

Everyone who reads this.

14. If Jesus were to submit a synopsis of a documentary about life in America since 9/11, what would his pov be? ::: not a joke question. I'm really curious.

How the fuck do people who say they believe in me get so worked up over seeing part of Janet Jackson's areola, not even the full nipple, for a split second? What the fuck is wrong with this culture?

Monday, November 20, 2006

those sexy italians

There's a company it Italy that uses sexy female models to sell coffins. It's Cofani Funebri, and here are some of their product shots:







And if that weren't enough, they publish a calendar every year. Yes, they are the Pirelli of death! Get a look at 2007 here.

Here's the sales angle: You're jerking off to the calendar, have a heart attack and drop dead. Sorry, you don't get to "die happy" (like Nelson Rockefeller, whose wife, Happy -- yes that was her real name -- was not very, because he was schtupping his secretary when he kicked it).

Instead, your wife discovers you slumped on the floor, pants around your ankles and the calendar on the vanity. She pops a bottle of bubbly (like the model above) and orders up a Cofani Funebri coffin to bury you in, along with your pornos, penis pump, jackoff creams and pictures of old girlfriends.

Brother, you've just got to hope one of those models is a necrophile, so you can at least be happy in the afterlife.

sugasm #55

This week’s best of the sex blogs from the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #56? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

To Tell or Not to Tell… (http://lipstickexplosion.com)
“Jane Falling claims it’s best not to tell, and she writes, ‘my identity as a prostitute is too serious a secret to trust with near-strangers.’”

Anti-Anti-Pornography, Part II (http://www.teen-porn-site.com/blog)
“One question I would like to ask them is - were there any rape or child abuse cases *before* the invention of pornography?”

To Shave or Not to Shave (http://www.model-chat.com)
“I stayed full bush for about my first two weeks as a live adult host.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Silence is better than bullshit (unless you’re a Gold-level member) (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice

Pillow Talk: Interview with Razor Ryan (http://adelehaze.com)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

50 Sexual Things About Me (http://dirtytalk.wordpress.com)

Fun With Futanari (http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)

I’m So Tired (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com)

Rediscovering the Secret to Great Sex (http://www.taratainton.com)

NSFW Pics (& videos)

Alison & Peachez (video) (http://hotboxbabe.thumblogger.com)

Chelsea (4) (video) (http://ipodteens.ilovejulienight.com)

Hotel Rendezvous (video) (http://myhotbox.blogspot.com)

Jennifer Kotwal (http://desibabes.blogspot.com)

Mistress Natali Demore (Awesome ass!) (video) (http://www.thebootcam.com)

Nora Marlo (http://eroticandy.blogspot.com)

Sex Work

A Soft Click (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)


Sex & Politics

RANT: Show Me The Pussy! (http://smutandsteff.com)

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Buttered Up (http://thebutterflytemptress.com)

A Cure for Kleptomania? (http://thediaryofanenglishrose.blogspot.com)

Down the Coast, Part II (http://www.betweensheets.net)

Flying Buttons (http://bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com)

Frenetic (http://ambientstorm.blogspot.com)

A holiday to remember. (http://wanklog.blogspot.com)

A Little Bit of Madness (http://femmefataleteen.blogspot.com)

Mr Henry Recommends… (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)

Outdoor Sex (http://mandyseroticlife.blogspot.com)

Recipe for Suck Sex (http://dirtydetails.blogspot.com)

Saturday Night Fun a la The Wife (http://fourstate.blogspot.com)

Sharing her… (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)

Starfucker: My First Time Watching Sex (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)

Sexy Humor

5 Reasons Why Porn Made Sex Better (http://ylovesporn.com)

BDSM and Fetish

Correction (http://secretlifeofaman.blogspot.com)

Fiction or Not, You Tell Me? (http://psoprincess.blogspot.com)

He’s Got the Look (http://www.spankingwriters.com)

HNT: Have a nice day! (http://www.the-iron-gate.com/blog)

A Nawty Story: Kitten Comes Clean (http://anawtymouz.blogspot.com)

Retribution (http://nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com)

Sadism and domestic violence (http://www.bondage-guide.net)

Sex Advice, News, Reviews & Interviews

Free Shipping for your Holiday Shopping! (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com)

An Herbivores Guide to Safe Sex (http://blog.babeland.com)

Pillow Talk: Interview with Razor Ryan (http://adelehaze.com)

Revolutionary Cybersex (http://www.1trackmind.com/blog)

Threesome Advice (part 1) (video) (http://www.seskuality.com)

Thursday, November 16, 2006

those sexy germans

In Germany there are channels that run soft porn shows and films at night. The commercials consist of ads for phone and SMS text sex. The ads are about 10 seconds each and they'll string 30 of them together, with some repeating. Here are some pix I shot of the TV in my hotel room earlier this year:













Wednesday, November 15, 2006

i'm so tired

I've been so work-focused lately that I come home, have dinner, watch an hour of TV and nod off, get up, walk the dog, get undressed, go to bed.

Then before falling asleep, I'll have this idea that I'm a bit horny, so maybe I'll try rubbing one off. Haven't done it for a couple of days -- and until recently I never missed a day -- so I start.

Then sometime later, I wake up and realize I fell asleep with my hand around my dick.

So sad.

Good night.

sugasm #54

This week’s best of the sex blogs from the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #55? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.


This Week’s Picks

My Response to The Government’s Pushing of Celibacy on Adults! (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com)

“We should teach that SEX IS ABOUT PLEASURE.”


Flying in the Face of Censorship (http://www.suzanneportnoy.com)

“But these days, the UK is Europe’s frisky frontier, and the hotties are flying in from all over.”


Life as an Adult Cam Worker (http://www.model-chat.com)

“Experiment with days and times to find out what’s the best time for you to be on live.”


Mr. Sugasm Himself

Our fearless leader promises he will leave the marathon orgy and be back to blogging soon. In the meantime enjoy one from the vault.

3 Porn Based Urban Legends (http://sugarbank.com)


Editors’ Choice

Home Run (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)


More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm


Sex News, Reviews & Interviews

An Audience with… David Pierson Part 1 (http://leiaannwoods.blogspot.com)

Everything To Do With Sex (video) (http://www.seskuality.com)

The Harlot and the Painter (http://adelehaze.com)

Sexy Interview - Rubberella (http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)

Silicone Beaded Matador Cock Ring Review (http://stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)

Venus Berlin Show Report - Fucking Machines (http://sextoysinsider.com)

Welcome to “Sex Blogger Community” (http://sexblogwelcome.blogspot.com)


Erotic Writing and Experiences

The Cabin, Part II (http://www.betweensheets.net)

Early Masturbation Experiences (http://wanklog.blogspot.com)

Fun in the Bahamas (http://wantonyou.blogspot.com)

Hopeless, Irresistible Lust (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)

I Haven’t Come in Days (http://sexcakes.blogspot.com)

Lipstick On Your… What? (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com)

Nikki (http://baring.blogspot.com)

Piano Girl I (http://aliceinawonderbra.blogspot.com)

Restless (http://nocloudnine.blogspot.com)

Story 2 - Stressed (http://dareuu.blogspot.com)

Too Sick to Fuck (http://sabrinainstockings.com)

Toy Tuesday: Plug (http://mypinktaco.blogspot.com)


Sex & Politics

US Government Preaches Abstinence to Adults (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com)


BDSM and Fetish

Bad Kitty (http://wetbeyondbelief.blogspot.com)

Bitch in Heat (http://everythingoze.blogspot.com)

I Like Big Butts (And Petite Posteriors) (http://pandorablake.blogspot.com)

Late-Breaking Newsflash: Katie Spades Given a Hand-spanking For Cheek (http://spankingkatiespades.blogspot.com)

A Nawty Story: Kitten Fibbed (http://anawtymouz.blogspot.com)

Slave sex, a lesson learned too well (http://bratmaster.co.uk)

Thou Shalt Not Touch Thy Students (http://spankingwriters.com/blog)


NSFW Pics (& video)

Half-Nekkid Posterized! (http://beyondyouandme.blogspot.com)

Happy HNT - Stadium Flash (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com)

Featured DDGirls Covergirl Sasha Grey (http://www.ddgirlsblog.com)

Karina (http://povfuck.ilovejulienight.com)

Mea-Culpa Erotic Nudes (http://eroticandy.blogspot.com)

Mistress Xena in Purple Boots (video) (http://www.thebootcam.com)

Rub it the Right Way (video) (http://myhotbox.blogspot.com)

Vote (http://melanaise.blogspot.com)


Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Bloggin’ Naked on a Pink Slip. (http://texasspitfire.blogspot.com)

Do I Stay or Do I Go? (http://edenfantasys.livejournal.com)

The Joy Of Sharing? (http://secretlifeofaman.blogspot.com)

Water Works (http://femmefataleteen.blogspot.com)

Wired (http://gentlygently.blogspot.com)


Sex Humor

Cock Rock Travelogue (http://secretbrain.blogspot.com)

Mismatched Whores: Time, Time, Time (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)


Sex History

The Conception of Trojan Condoms (http://www.taratainton.com)

Retro Raw: The Best of Amber Lynn (http://retrosexblog.com)


Sexy Sasha Grey courtesy of DD Girls Blog.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

lipstick on your...what?

About 15 years ago I spent a night in Memphis while traveling on business. I dined at a hole in the wall barbecue place and had barbecue spaghetti and a very large Coke. Barbecue spaghetti is pasta with a very meaty sauce, and the meat is chopped up pork. It was very spicy and I needed all of that Coke.

Afterwards, I went to a strip club, something I did nearly every night I was on the road alone. I was wearing white jeans, something I can no longer believe I owned and wore, but there you are.

The club was very swank, with several stages. After a while a beautiful African-American dancer sat next to me and we began chatting. I asked her to do a lap dance, and hers was very slow and sensual. She didn't ask me to do another right away, but continued to sit with me and chat for a few songs. While she did, she put her hand on my leg and then started moving her finger around my crotch, tracing my hard-on, which assured it would remain so. Then she asked if she could do another dance, and of course I agreed. This pattern continued for a while, but each dance got sexier. She unbuttoned my shirt a bit and played with my nipples, And then, she dropped down between my legs and feigned a blow job, chomping ever so lightly on my cock.

Several days later, after traveling east across Tennessee to Gatlinburg, I was ready to go home. That day I had put on the same white jeans. But just before leaving my motel, I noticed something in the mirror that didn't look right. I looked down at my crotch and there was red lipstick in perfect lip formation. I just about freaked out at the thought I could have been seeing customers and then flying home to my wife dressed like that.

I quickly changed pants, and with some effort washed the lipstick off of the white jeans. As I drove around that day, those jeans were on the back shelf of the car, in the sun, and my the time I had to go to the airport they were dry and squeaky clean.

So next time a stripper chomps on your cock through your pants, be sure to look for markings later. I know, it happens all the time.

Tuesday, October 31, 2006

hot and cold running lust

Our love life has been pretty much on a shelf for the past six months as she recovers from an accident. But every now and then -- when she's feeling better, when we're not consumed with her recovery, my work, the kid, the animals, the household -- we reconnect sexually and it is hot.

Knowing that we haven't lost that connection -- that it is just dormant -- makes it much easier to carry on.

A friend was recently traveling on business in a foreign city known for its red light district. His wife had allowed that if he visited the district and took advantage of the services offered there it wouldn't be totally unacceptable, but she didn't want to know about it. When he returned, she changed her tune and asked him point blank whether he had. His truthful answer, "No." Why? "I just love having sex with my wife."

I know how he feels.