Tagged once again by Katie Schwartz. I never was good at tag. I'm always "it." I notice she and some others skipped some letters. I have more scruples so you get all 26.
A- Available or Single
One can be available without being single.
B- Best Friend
T, from whom I have tried to hide the existence of this blog.
C- Cake or Pie
Pie, specifically apple.
D- Drink of Choice
Espresso.
E- Essential Item
Computer.
F- Favorite Color
Blue.
G- Gummi Bears or Worms
I hate gummi shit. How about some nice halvah?
H- Hometown
Da Bronx.
I- Indulgence
Sex blogging.
J- January or February
Hate ‘em both.
K- Kids
Yes, grown.
L- Life is incomplete without
Good sex and good food.
M- Marriage Date
1971, 1996.
N- Number of Siblings?
1, deceased.
O- Oranges or Apples?
Fresh/juice: oranges. Sauce/pastry: apples. But that’s like comparing apples and oranges.
P- Phobias/Fears
Disease.
Q- Favorite Quote
"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return"
- eden ahbez
R- Reasons to smile
Happy endings, whether in a movie or a hand job.
S- Season
Depends where I’m living, but either spring or fall.
T- Tag Three People
I’m going to make this exercise self-tagging for those who are interested.
U- Unknown Fact About Me
I don’t think there are any of those left after the last few memes.
V- Vaginas?
I like 'em natural and bushy.
W- Worst Habit
Not admitting when I’m in a bad mood.
X- X-M or Sirius?
X-M, but I haven't shelled out for it yet.
Y- Your Favorite Foods
Ashkenazy Jew food – corned beef, pastrami, brisket, kreplach, kishke, matzo brei, sour pickles…
Z- Zodiac
Taurus
Saturday, March 31, 2007
fleshbot
I first discovered there was such as thing as sex blogs through Fleshbot. Every week, Chelsea Girl or Jefferson posts excerpts from blogs based on a theme.
It's because of this that when I started writing stories it occured to me to put them on a blog. Since I started blogging, they've been very kind to me, including this week's round-up.
I still find the Fleshbot Round-up a great way to find new blogs. As a blogger, it's the best traffic driver around and I credit Fleshbot for introducing hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people to my stories.
It's because of this that when I started writing stories it occured to me to put them on a blog. Since I started blogging, they've been very kind to me, including this week's round-up.
I still find the Fleshbot Round-up a great way to find new blogs. As a blogger, it's the best traffic driver around and I credit Fleshbot for introducing hundreds, perhaps thousands, of people to my stories.
Friday, March 30, 2007
five facts
Preheated has dared me to state five facts about myself you wouldn't know by reading this blog. This will be challenging because I've already responded to similar tags for 5 things you don't know about me, six weird things about me, and my top 5.
What facts that haven't already been published am I willing to share? I think I'll stick to blogging and bloggers:
*I love feedblitz -- it sends me a daily email with new posts from all the blogs I'm interested in.
What facts that haven't already been published am I willing to share? I think I'll stick to blogging and bloggers:
- I used to be one of those who was skeptical about blogging. "What a waste of time." "An outlet for wannabes who can't really write." Instead, I've found a rich community of interesting, and often talented, people who blog about sex, life and politics.
- I have a "vanilla" blog under my real identity. There are some people who read both my sex blogs and my vanilla blog. You can try to guess who you are and who I am, but I will not respond to such queries.
- I have photo blogs under yet another identity. I know some people read this one and those, but am not aware of anyone who reads blogs under all three identities.
- I monitor about 60 blogs*. Most of them are sex blogs. Between the sexy writing and the pix, I no longer desire paid pornography.
- Most of my stories are pure fiction, but I've mixed in some based on truth. I don't have that many real-life experiences that would be compelling enough for stories, so I hope the fantasies keep coming to me. So far not a problem -- I have more ideas than time to write. And I'm hoping one day an idea will be expansive enough to turn into a novel.
*I love feedblitz -- it sends me a daily email with new posts from all the blogs I'm interested in.
Monday, March 26, 2007
don't be alarmed
This one was forwarded to me just after I endured ten minutes of an alarm sounding on a car that was not being tampered with...
if food be the music of love, eat on
If you've read my story Home Cooking, you know I have a thing about food and sex, although I've never pulled a Costanza.
And I know I'm not alone...
Well, this piece on Atom Films also got me going ...
And I know I'm not alone...
Order champagne, and strawberries and hot, liquid chocolate. Dip two strawberries in the chocolate, eat one and feed me the other. Then dribble the hot molten chocolate around my nipple, and lick it lasciviously — before taking a healthy nip as I shriek with pleasure. Pour me a glass of champagne, and watch me drink it — and then, when it’s your turn to imbibe, use me as your champagne flute.Damn hot, Juno!
- Juno Henry
Well, this piece on Atom Films also got me going ...
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
tmi tuesday #75
I've decided to participate in TMI Tuesday when in the mood, so here goes...
1. When you are out in public, do you often get hard/get wet?
Rarely. As much as I enjoy a good visual, it takes more direct stimulation these days to effect a physical transformation.
2. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)?
Five minutes. I have a variety of specific fantasies, some of which have turned into stories. Eventually all will get written up.
3. What is your most pleasurable intercourse position?
Doggie.
4. How often do you use the word "fuck" (or its derivatives) in casual conversation - frequently, occasionally, rarely, never.
At least daily.
5. Have you ever had a spontaneous orgasm? How when why where?
Is that like spontaneous human combustion? Never.
1. When you are out in public, do you often get hard/get wet?
Rarely. As much as I enjoy a good visual, it takes more direct stimulation these days to effect a physical transformation.
2. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)?
Five minutes. I have a variety of specific fantasies, some of which have turned into stories. Eventually all will get written up.
3. What is your most pleasurable intercourse position?
Doggie.
4. How often do you use the word "fuck" (or its derivatives) in casual conversation - frequently, occasionally, rarely, never.
At least daily.
5. Have you ever had a spontaneous orgasm? How when why where?
Is that like spontaneous human combustion? Never.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
nsa
This, like most w4m listings on Craigslist, is likely a link to a friendfinder type site, or a webcam site, or something similar.
What struck me about this was the request for an NSA encounter with No Strings Attached. Well, since, NSA in this context usually means no strings attached, I wondered what the writer has in mind...
National Security Agency? Very uncloak and dagger.
National Softball Association? Can I get to third base?
National Speakers Association? Four score and seven lays ago...
National Society of Accountants? I left the money in a plain envelope on the dresser.
National Sheriff's Association? Hey, you said you weren't L.E.!!!!!
For the record, the writer is likely a man named Duayne sitting in a cubicle in Fort Lauderdale.
Friday, March 09, 2007
i just love contests!
You may remember a few months ago, I won Desireous's contest to create a story around one of the gifts she sells with this entry.
Inspired by my success, I entered Dirty Little Girl's Valentine's Day Contest to write a fantasy about her, incorporating some filthy search terms that led people to her blog. Well, I'm a wiener again! And I got a great prize.
Read the winning entry and a smoking post about how she made my prize here!
Thanks, DLG, you sure are luscious!
Part of my prize.
You'll never see the rest.
Inspired by my success, I entered Dirty Little Girl's Valentine's Day Contest to write a fantasy about her, incorporating some filthy search terms that led people to her blog. Well, I'm a wiener again! And I got a great prize.
Read the winning entry and a smoking post about how she made my prize here!
Thanks, DLG, you sure are luscious!
Part of my prize.
You'll never see the rest.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
a special day for men
Mark your calendars: March 14 is Steak & Blow Job Day.
From the web site:
From the web site:
It’s March 14th
You know what that means
I’ll gobble your knob
And juggle your beansNow eat your steak
Like a good little chum
And when you’re all finished
I’ll swallow your cum!
Love me tender
Love me sweet
On March 14th
It’s all about your meat!
Sunday, March 04, 2007
trash is as trash does
Recently I attended a sex show. This wasn't a demonstration of sexual acts in a cabaret. Instead, it was like a trade show, but for consumers, in a convention center. The picture on the right sums up my reaction to what I saw.
There were a few truly sexy aspects, such as the feather dancer pictured below. But overall there was little eroticism to be found.
On stage:
Non-piercing Jewelry:
A little disposable vibrator; versions for men and women:
Drink up and you'll get it up, I guess:
Ladies of Porno Pro Wrestling:
Invitations:
Saturday, March 03, 2007
chatting
I can't take credit for this. Someone sent it to me years ago.
Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung:I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Wellhung:I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart:I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
joke time II
So it seems this penguin was driving through a small town when his car broke down. He called AAA, and his car was towed to a local garage where the mechanic told him he would need a couple of hours to check out the problem.
The penguin wasn't in any particular hurry, so he wandered off to look around.
An Italian, A frenchman and an Australian are discussing their relative performance in bed.
A woman says to her girlfriend, "My husband has dandruff."
"So give him Head and Shoulders," her friend answers.
"OK, how do I give Shoulders?"
A man in a nursing home takes up with one of the female inmates and works out a deal with her where he gets in bed with her each night and she holds his penis as they fall asleep. After several weeks of this, he dumps her for a new partner. The scorned woman questions him, "What's she got that I haven't got?"
The man replies, "Parkinson's".
Friday, March 02, 2007
joke time
There once was a woman who had gone a long time without so much as the hope of having a relationship. When she finally picked up a handsome looking guy and went out with him, her friends were naturally curious as to how it went.
A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.
``What's he like?'' said the woman's friend the day after the big event.
``Oh? Why not?'' asked the friend.
* * *
A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he's hopelessly lost. It's been nearly three weeks since he's eaten anything besides what he could forage and he's been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.
The old Chinese man says, "I let you in on condition: You no mess around with my grandaughter."
* * *