pants on fire

DCup has tagged me with this meme demanding that I tell you seven lies about myself. Here goes:

1. I have never been in a MFM threesome,

2. but I have enjoyed a FMF threesome. Yeah, I'm a lucky guy.

3. I have had the singular pleasure of nuzzling myself deep within DCup's naked cleavage,

4. while Madam Z inserted a buttplug in my ass. It was the only way to shut me up.

5. I have a faux foreskin I attach when screwing anti-Semites.

6. I have a "thing" for Hillary Clinton, but the Secret Service won't let me give it to her.

7. Seeing Britney's cooter got me all hot and bothered.

Penis enlargement is again the rage, according to my spam filter. But in case you don't happen to already have a penis, here's an offer for you in its entirety:

110% Sugasm

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strippers and libertarianism

I aspire to be a libertarian, but run up against various issues where I find I am not. But when it comes to the sex trade, I feel the government has no place telling me what I can see or do.



I am just so freaking sick of government imposing its so-called moral authority on me as to whether I can see strippers or fuck prostitutes. Ironically, it's actually easier to hire a prostitute in many places than to go to a strip club.

I'm not necessarily against zoning (see, not a libertarian) as long as the zoning is not intended to make it difficult for a business to succeed.

My favorite bad argument against the sex trade is that it attracts a criminal element. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU MADE IT A CRIME!!!!!!


Note: Tucker had her web address wrong. It's ladyliberty.wordpress.com

sugasm #105

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #106? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Bonbon

“I feel him start; then he groans into my mouth, a deep helpless sound, and I know I’ve got him.”

Domme virginity lost

I’m not asking you. I’m telling you. You know that, don’t you, sweet boy?”

Reality Check: Lessons Learned From Clients

“From my conversations I’ve learned a number of things that have helped me, educated me and surprised me.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Belladonna Likes Heroin

Editor’s Choice

Each Mirror has two sides

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

NSFW Pics & Videos

Anetta Keys - Mischief In Mind

Carmella Bing - Keeping It Hardcore

Erica Campbell nude by Andrew Blake

The Hottest Babes… Right Here, Right Now

How to behave after sex

Jade | Mirage

Sex News, Reviews & Advice

At least he’s not going blind!

Lust, Caution review

NEW Gender Bending Designs

Orgasm - Do You Fake It?

Pierced for Play

Pjur Eros BodyGlide Original Silicone Lubricant Review

Top 7 Horror Porns

Erotic Writing and Experiences

At Your Service

Boy

Catalina loves (Polyamorous) Fantasies - Part II

Confessions: Babysitter

Encounter 2, Part II: All About Jane

Having her cake

How zep got me my first feel of tit

“I’m not having sex with you in here.”

A Letter…

Sexual Initiation

Splick

Symplexity Presents: The Friendly Skies

An Unexpected Opportunity

Sex Work

In the Heart of Real America: How Porn Made Me a Patriot

BDSM & Fetish

About last night…

Beat Me Baby: A Step in Submission!

Bitch in heat

Dirty, Filthy, Nasty Instructions

Feeling a Twitch

Goofiness

I Will So Whip Your Ass

A Little Fantasy I Wrote For The Mrs.

Masturbation Fantasies

Men are dogs: a fantasy

On Hands and Knees

Re-Education Part 2: A Fantasy

Revisiting the piss slit

Shame, Shame, Shame; Shame of Fools

Whippings in the eighteenth century

Sex Poetry & Recipes

Cooking With Mandy: Get Your Ass In the Kitchen Slut and Spend Some Quality Time With Your Husband Pasta with Shrimp

Friday Poem: Hot Boobs and Spam

Then

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

“As Long As Your Vagina Looks Good…”

Ethical Adultery

Femme vs. Feminine

The Full Body Project, or Fat Can be Sexy, Part 2

Need, Want, Love

Return to sender

Sleepy HNT

Today is “Mom the Minx(’s)” Birthday

You Are So Sexy

cat macros

Cat macros, also known as lolcats, are pictures of cats with cute captions, usually employing common mis-spellings and texting shorthand. I find them pretty funny, but thought it was time to try something sexual.

If you've never seen them, take a look here.

And then see my first try at making one here.

we needed another name for it

No, I don't watch Grey's Anatomy or Oprah. This is why I was totally out of the loop on vajayjay.

Thank goodness I read the New York Times, which included an article on this word among "All The News That's Fit to Print" today.

Hey, we just can't have enough euphemisms for our naughty bits. While I don't mind using "penis" and "vagina" when not talking about sex, they are just not romantic sounding words. And as the Times article points out, "vagina" does not represent the full genital complement of a woman.

So while there are a number of words that can be used instead, "cunt" often sounds too harsh and "pussy" sounds, well, like a pussy.

I know I haven't written a new tale in a while, but next time I do, I'm going to look for an opportunity to use "vajayjay."

Now, if those Grey's Anatomy folks can come up with something better than "cock" or "dick." Maybe something that represents both penis and testicles together. Those docs ought to be able to manage that!

the truth outs

Thanks to all who responded to my poll. I linked to five of my stories from erotischism, challenging readers to determine which was written from my real life experiences.

The true story was the winner!

Tighter 44%
Home Cooking 28%
My Slum Goddess 17%
At a Bar in a Strange City 11%
A Saucy Tale 0%

sugasm #101

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Last chance to enter my Truth or Fiction poll below. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #102? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Animal sex
“As he brings me there, his hands and mouth on me are rougher and rougher.”

Romeo and Juliet: A Different Perspective
“Catherine!” Elizabeth gasped between her thighs. “You are like heaven’s own scent.”

Summer of Content
“Under the cover of my long skirt, my legs are spread for him, and I’m dripping over his fingers.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

How to Hide Your Porn

Editor’s Choice

Tease

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm;;

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

NSFW Pics & Videos

Catalina loves Candles (HNT)

Dave Naz does something indescribable for me

Half-Nekkid Massage

HNT: The Boot Queen

Hot Nude Aria Giovanni

Mischa in Garden Delight

More of Jason

Painted Hills

Schoolgirl, Revisited

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Heteroflexible

I came for you

I feel like…… cheating

A Night of DP

Sat Night Swing Club

Satisfying Leslie’s craving

Shadows

Someone else’s wife;

Wicked Man

Sex History & Poetry

My Protector

Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Forum

BDSM & Fetish

Autumn
;
If you give a Dom an hour……

Kenny

A Little Surprise

Marcus and Me – Redux

Mundane Moment #1

Pretty Girls Peeing Outdoors (Urophilia, Pee Fetish)

Slave Sale Night

Therapy

Sex News & Reviews

Applause for Blogs Begun in October 2007

THE Best Solo Sex Toy for Men

Featured Design: Revealing your love style

Heartbreaker II Vibrator Review

Poly Pride NYC was Fabulous!

Review: Internet Escort Handbook

Truth or fiction?

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Alike, Not Alike, Identical

Analyzing, questions, memories, today

Housewife fantasies and domestic dirtiness

I’m a biter.

Intercourse is icky?

the best tit-wringers in america

Anyone who travels much by air has leafed through the airlines' in-flight magazines. For many years there have been group ads for restaurants. It started with a group of steakhouses, all independent, great local joints. Then there were the best seafood restaurants and the best Italian restaurants.

On a recent trip I saw an ad inspired by these that hits a new low: The Best Plastic Surgeons in America.


Now, there's all kinds of plastic surgery, and many of these surgeons do wonderful things for people with deformities, or who have been injured or burned, or have lost a breast or other tissue to disease. But let's face it, where the bucks are is big tits. That's what this ad is really selling. It seems everything in America needs to be super-sized now.

When you go to this doc's web site you get this cute ditty:

Gosh, I'm trying to think of what criterion a woman might bring to him that would have him tell her not to have her breasts enlarged? Oh, that's right...NONE.

Ladies, if you have five grand to spare, give it me to. I'll come to you and make you feel just fine about yourself without any surgery!

more advice

So happy to be a guest contributor to Ask Aspasia Fern & Sweet HoneySmack!

I answered a bunch of questions yesterday, so go look!

Re-reading today, I amused myself with this line I had written:

An open relationship can only be successful if the
communication is as open as your legs are.

sugasm #100

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truth or fiction?

I've always made it a point not to let on which of my stories on erotischism are true and which are fantasy.

But I thought it would be fun, just once, to test your credulity. So here are five stories. See if you can guess which one is from my true experience:

Home Cooking
"Maria looked in my eyes and then slammed her mouth to mine. Quickly her tongue was in my mouth flicking hither and yon, while both hands held my face in place. And then I felt a hand on my right thigh that moved gently over what was now a visible bulge in my pants and back to rest on my thigh."

My Slum Goddess
"She took my dick in hand and began pumping it. In just seconds I groaned and, much as a geyser erupts from a combination of pressure and heat, I shot a prodigious amount of molten jism straight up. It came down and made a puddle on my belly. Suzy giggled and said something about having primed the pump, then went to the bathroom and returned with a towel for me to clean up."

At a Bar in a Strange City
"After two very long minutes, I walked behind the bar and around to the ladies room door and knocked. The door opened. It was dark inside. I entered. The door closed and I heard the lock being fastened."

Tighter
"I slapped her face. She dropped to her knees. She was not happy. I pulled down my pants and underwear. I was already semi-hard. I stuck my cock in her mouth and said, 'Suck it.' She sucked obediently. I held her head and pulled on her hair a bit while she did this."

A Saucy Tale
"Yvonne sat up, took the bowl in her hands and lapped at the sauce. She brought her face to mine and our tongues entwined, slowly, deeply, tasting the sauce and each other."

Make your choice using this poll. Poll results and the correct answer will be posted on October 21st.

great advice!

Miss Aspasia Fern of Literotica advice column fame has teamed with Miss Smack for a great new sex advice blog.

Go now!

free facials here!

A post in Fleshbot considers the question of whether semen is good for the complexion.

I once had a girlfriend who was convinced cum was good for her skin. She would give me blow jobs that ended by hand, and I would cum on her chest.

She would then rub my spunk all over her face and leave it there for some minutes before rinsing.

We both felt very good afterwards.

the next colonel sanders or orville redenbacher

It's truly impressive how Playboy has revitalized interest in Hugh Hefner in recent years and made him once again the centerpiece of the Playboy brand.

Now they are so dependent on him that one wonders what will happens when Hef, now 81, finally kicks the bucket (with help from the little blue pill and his three girlfriends).

My prediction: He will live on as a logo/icon/avatar and probably continue to boff new girls via Adobe Creative Suite. Is he in Second life yet?

If you don't know what I'm talking about, get a gander from their web site...





Yes, young man, subscribe to Playboy and you can hang with your dirty old Uncle Hugh. The girlies love the old guy 'cos he can still get it up, he's rich but harmless. Maybe you'll get some of Hef's discards!

brothel story IV

In Frankfurt, Germany there is a red zone where there are strip clubs and eros houses.

An Eros house is a building with one-room apartments that are rented to prostitutes. Prostitution is legal and taxed, but not regulated in the way it is in Nevada. Customers walk through the house and the available girls stand in their doorways and try to entice customers.

Few of the girls are German and few speak much English. But they can say "Suck and fuck, twenty-five Euros." When I first walked through an Eros house it was before the Euro, and the going price was fifty Marks.

I walked through the house with friends, just as tourists. But then I went back by myself. I decided I would get a blow job.

I chose a girl and told her I justed wanted "suck" and not "fuck." She nodded and indicated I should undress. She took off her neglige. I couldn't quite figure out her ethnicity, but it clearly included African blood. She had me lie down. She got me hard and then rolled on a condom. She started blowing me, making big sucking and licking sounds.

Then she climbed on top of me and held her tits above my head. I pulled her down so I could fondle and suck them. She rubbed her body against mine. Her bush felt wirey and her breasts soft. This felt good. I waited for her to move back down and continue sucking.

In a moment I realized she had put me inside her. I guess she hadn't understood. For a split second I considered what to do. My dick overrode the thought process.

She moved her hips to and fro and I began pushing. I gave myself over to this. She looked in my eyes as we fucked and in a minute or two I orgasmed. She smiled and held the base of the condom as she lifted herself off me.

I dressed, paid her, thanked her and left. It wasn't a bad experience and certainly didn't cost much. I was relieved when I passed a blood test six months later.

sugasm #98

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #99? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.

This Week’s Picks

Anal, her perspective

“This entire anal sex episode had started some months earlier, on a theoretical level.”

When the Muse Wants to Fuck

“Participles, linking verbs, superlative adjectives… You want more?”

Chef

“He’s already at work, but he’s left an order behind on the scraps of ordering paper that we have all over the house.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

The Secret Diary of a Callgirl

Editor’s Choice

Whipped on this day: 1791

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

NSFW Pics & Videos

Chicagoland by Rand McNally, Body by Celina, Photos by Usama Alshaibi

Erotic Orchid

Eva Angelina (Twistys)

Half-Nekkid Blogging

HNT (Hopelessly Narcissistic Thursday) - What I Want…

Three In The Morning by Westland Armitage

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Brothel story II

The Double Standard of Promiscuity

Eye contact

Half-Nekkid Dessert

Inclinations

Long Distance Lovin’

Playing a Role

Women aren’t the only ones with cunts

Sex News & Reviews

Beefcake Calendar Bonanza

Deeply Throaty

Sex Swing Review

Submit to CineKink!

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Craving Me

A Gift Between Friends

In Which I (Almost) Get My First Facial

Milk And Honey

The other girl

A place to live

Visit To A Sex Club

We Don’t Have Fantasies, We Have Plans

Sex Advice & Sex Poetry

How to be a Cum-Guzzler

In deep cushions redolent of perfume

BDSM & Fetish

At the Club

Back to the Garden of Carnal Delights

Catalina loves To Submit

Doll of wax

Fantasy: A man walks into a bar…

Marks like Pink Ribbons pt. 1

My Checkered Past: The Earth Moves Under My Feet

The Nooner

Post Party Portrait

The Way of a Man with a Maid

Whips and Lubes

brothel story III

My third and final visit to a Nevada brothel was on a return trip to Reno. Just beyond the Washoe county boundary was the famous Mustang Ranch.

I don't have a very detailed memory of my visit there. I remember having a drink at the bar before viewing the lineup. I have no memory of the girl I selected, what she looked like, even what race she was.

What I do remember is that the fee was very high for that time -- $250 -- and that I got a standard missionary fuck.

I felt like I was in a tourist trap. Because I was. And I had been taken for a ride. But not a particularly good ride.

Back at the hotel in Reno, I purchased a souvenir shot glass. I still think it's funny, but not at all reflective of the experience:

Mustang Ranch

Where Quality Keeps Them Coming

After these Nevada experiences, I found it eye-opening (perhaps eye-popping) to see the Cathouse series on HBO featuring the restyled Moonlight Bunny Ranch. If the show is at all representative of the real experience and vibe of the place, then I give all credit to Dennis Hof. I don't know where guys find the $$$ to party there, but at least they get a good experience.

gotta read this!

Description Of Sexual Fantasy Changing With Girlfriend's Reaction

sugasm #97

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Al is honored to again be one of the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #98? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.

This Week’s Picks

The Manifesto of the Cuntcentric Hedonist

“I’m not being selfish, I’m being altruistic when I open my legs and offer my body up.”

No reservations, part 4

“By this time, said balls felt twice their normal size and very full.”

Sex Work And Religion: The Violent Priest

“We were to seduce one of the young ladies in the church’s choir.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

JBS Underwear

Editor’s Choice

The Top 10 Reasons to avoid “Pregnancy & Sex” bulletin boards

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

BDSM & Fetish

Bending Over……Another Erotic Tale of “Him”

Dinner with Amy

Fetish Film - Master Sessions - Mia (Master, Bondage, BDSM, Forced Orgasm)

Friday Night

I don’t know if i am strong enough for this….

My Checkered Past: Motorcycle Black Madonna Two-Wheeled Gypsy Queen

The story behind a spanking drawing

Sugarbutch Star: Jennifer

Sunday Caning

Fantasy: The Terminal

Watching hardcore collection Richard

Sex Work

Dumb emails I have received

OK, So Here’s The Thing…

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Come here

The desert

Half-Nekkid and Jilling Off

Jackhammer of love

My Office

Oil, Water and Skin

Oiled and running smoothly

The Open Door

Tingling

Tit for Tat and a Taste of That

Sex News & Reviews

Polyamory Conferences and Events

Watch the Video Trailer for Hegre Art’s First DVD Release

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Brothel story I

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Most MFM Threesomes Don’t Turn Out Like This

Perhaps one day this will happen to you…

Sex & Politics

Accepting the fact that kids are gonna get it on

Let’s laugh at these fagots

NSFW Pics & Videos

Catalina loves Half-Nekkid-Tuesday (the Other HNT)

Half-Nekkid One-Night Stand

Pirate Hooker Baby - You Asked For It, You Got it

Rope Rookie