Schools & Strip Clubs

A couple of interesting posts on Daily Dish recently about the educational pursuits of strippers.

My first strip club experience was at the RazzMaTazz is Seattle, where between ear-licking grindup dances, the young lady talked about the college courses she was taking.

Later, an older friend, whose strip club experience was of a different era, scoffed. But I figured it made sense to earn tuition and rent bucks this way -- part time, flexible hours, good pay.

My subsequent experience proved it true, as a good number of the ladies who have entertained me over the years were working toward their degrees. I'll admit it is surreal to alternate between intelligent conversation and having your hard-on worked over, but I like it.

Here are the posts: [1] [2]

the ultimate titty finder

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strippers and libertarianism

I aspire to be a libertarian, but run up against various issues where I find I am not. But when it comes to the sex trade, I feel the government has no place telling me what I can see or do.



I am just so freaking sick of government imposing its so-called moral authority on me as to whether I can see strippers or fuck prostitutes. Ironically, it's actually easier to hire a prostitute in many places than to go to a strip club.

I'm not necessarily against zoning (see, not a libertarian) as long as the zoning is not intended to make it difficult for a business to succeed.

My favorite bad argument against the sex trade is that it attracts a criminal element. THAT'S BECAUSE YOU MADE IT A CRIME!!!!!!


Note: Tucker had her web address wrong. It's ladyliberty.wordpress.com

can you can can?

I've written about a somewhat depressing night in a strip club in Michigan where the ladies wrestled in Spaghetti-Os.

Another less-than-erotic evening in a midwestern strip club occurred in Milwaukee back in the 80s. I was alone for the evening, staying downtown, and happened upon a club.

It was a fairly dark place with a very large stage that was evidently where all the action was to be. I sat at the stage and the DJ announced the appearance of Morgana, The Can Crusher.

I couldn't imagine what this meant. Out she came. I don't know if she was the same Morgana as the Kissing Bandit of baseball fame, but let's just say she had an outsized rack. It was freak show ginormous, not "boy I like big tits" large.

Guys were ordering cans of Milwaukee's best. Upon completion of the 12 ounces, they would put the can on the stage with a dollar.

Morgana would saunter over, stick the buck in her g-string, put the can between her breasts, where it remained.

She then shrugged her shoulders with arms at her side, thus forcing her breasts together. This would crush the beer can flat as a pancake.

Ta-daaaa!

That was the act. Guys cheered. I watched her do it a few times, then returned to my hotel room. As opposed to a good night at a strip club, nothing I had seen provided inspiration for a wank session.

tmi (way past) tuesday #87

1. What is the meanest thing you've ever done/said to a lover/loved one?

To a close friend in high school who expressed that she wanted our friendship to become romantic: "Beggars can't be choosers." I was trying to be self-deprecating, but for obvious reasons it wasn't taken that way.

2. Have you ever had sex on an elevator?

No, but I've listened to Aerosmith.

3. Have you ever lied about a rash and said it was a birthmark? OR Have you ever lied about a birthmark and said it was a rash?

Have never had either.

4. Have you ever had sex on a beach or in the water at a beach/pool?

No, but i tried once. I was at a resort with a girlfriend on a secluded beach. We got naked and snorkeled (carefully!). I suggested since we were all alone on this beautiful Caribbean beach we should make love. Got shot down.

5. How old are you? How old do you feel?

54. 44.

6. Have you or your partner been injured so badly during sex that you/they had to go to the hospital?

I wish.

7. Have you been to a strip club or "titty bar"? (Hooters does NOT count.) If so, did you get a lap dance?

Oh, have I! Did I? Just click on "strip club" on the tags to see the stories posted so far.

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had a "blog crush" (i.e., a crush on someone, of whatever gender, that you haven't met in person but only know through their blog)? Who? (Link, please, if you dare!)

Do you mean crush, like romantic? Or since this is a sex blog, crush, like BILFs? Yes. Not ready to name names.

ohio: no nudes is good nudes...

...and the governor is a weenie

Dispatch.com, May 9:

Representatives of a conservative Cincinnati-based group pushing for stricter strip-club regulations have assured Ohio lawmakers that eight other states have implemented similar laws.

But a check of those states by The Dispatch found only one, Tennessee, that has enacted a state law resembling the combination of restrictions proposed by Citizens for Community Values.

Senate Bill 16, created by the group's petition drive, says dancers, both when they're nude and when they've put their clothes back on, must stay at least 6 feet from patrons. It also prohibits nude dancing, or operations of adult bookstores, between midnight and 6 a.m.

The House Judiciary Committee is expected to vote on the bill today, but not before Rep. Louis Blessing, a Cincinnati Republican who is committee chairman, tries to reduce the 6-foot distance requirements.

"The distance is ridiculous, and requiring a bubble after they're dressed and fully clothed, I don't know what the purpose is of that," Blessing said, adding that he doesn't think it's constitutional.

Gov. Ted Strickland, speaking about the bill in public for the first time yesterday, said state government has better things to do than to focus on strip clubs.

If the bill gets to him, he said, he would have to "conclude for my own satisfaction whether or not there are constitutional issues here that in my own mind could result in me not keeping faith with the oath I took."

Toledoblade.com, June 8:

Ohio's adult entertainment industry has created a political action committee called Citizens for Community Standards, a play on the name of the conservative Cincinnati-based Citizens for Community Values that championed the new law limiting the hours of such businesses and imposing a stricter "no-touch" rule.

Sandy Theis, a consultant for the clubs, said the money behind the effort to put the issue to voters on Nov. 6 will initially come from club owners, but she believes there will be public support.

"I was surprised at the public support for the dancers and their opposition to pesky conservatives from Cincinnati telling the rest of the state what to do," she said. "People don't like that."

Citizens for Community Values gathered enough signatures of valid voters last year to force the issue into lawmakers' laps. The group had threatened to take its proposed law directly to voters if lawmakers failed to act.

The resulting law requires strip clubs, X-rated theaters, adult book and video stores, and other "sexually oriented businesses" to close their doors between midnight and 6 a.m. Clubs with liquor licenses allowing them to remain open until 2 a.m. could do so, but no fully nude entertainment would be permitted during those two extra hours.

Performers or patrons who violate a tougher "no-touch" rule while the performer is still nude or semi-nude could be charged with a fourth-degree misdemeanor punishable by up to 30 days in jail and a $250 fine.

If the touch involves a "specified anatomical area," defined as the genitals, pubic region, or a portion of the female breast, the charge would be elevated to a first-degree misdemeanor punishable by up to six months in jail and a $1,000 fine.

Critics of the law have questioned its constitutionality and have argued it could make criminals of people who simply shake hands or tap another on the shoulder while a dancer is still undressed.

The measure overwhelmingly passed both chambers, and Gov. Ted Strickland, while questioning the bill's necessity, opted to allow it to become law without his signature.

"The law is clearly constitutional," said David Miller, vice president of Community Values. "Numerous cases attest to that. Our own governor said that if he thought it was constitutionally suspect, he would have vetoed it."

The law is set to take effect Sept. 4 unless the repeal effort succeeds in filing at least 242,366 valid signatures of registered voters, including 1,000 to initially put proposed petition language before the attorney general.

Dancer Bianca Tate said she recently drove across the state to dance at a club in Kentucky to help pay her bills because business is already off at Cleveland's Hustler Club where she usually works. She said some patrons have assumed the law is already in effect.

"There is a lot of misinformation out there," she said. "Some of the customers are afraid to walk in the door."

From Focus on the Family's Citizenlink:

"These provisions will effectively curb much of the crime that does take place in these establishments," said David Miller, vice president for public policy at CCV. "We'll see less prostitution."

This is the same old bullshit we always hear about strip clubs. I cannot speak to individual situations, but in general the belief that there is prostitution in strip clubs is outdated.

The majority of strip clubs now represent multi-million dollar investments and these owners are not going to allow themselves to be put out of business by permitting illegal activity.

I'm sure there are exceptions, as with anything. I have visited dozens of strip clubs across the US over 20 years and have never once seen evidence of prostitution.

All of these clubs employ beefy security types at the entrances and throughout the premises. Nothing that would endanger the patrons, the dancers, or the owners' pocketbooks is likely to occur.

The truth is these Fuck-us-on-the-Family people want to legislate their morality. It has nothing to do with crime.

at seventeen

I was in Atlanta for a convention in 1993, and several of us went to Cheetah's for an evening's entertainment. In the group was one fellow who had never been to a strip club.

I haven't been back since, so don't know if the club has changed, but at the time, there would be somewhere between 20 and 30 girls dancing at once, positioned all over the club, in addition to a main stage.

A table dance was literally that. The tables were bolted down and the dancer would climb up on the table and do her thing. You got a great view right up her snatcheroo. Actually, it wasn't really my thing. And the silicone was overwhelming in the place.

The guys at the table next to us were getting drunker and more rowdy as the evening progressed, but they were fun and friendly.

At some point, all action stopped and the DJ announced that a new girl was taking the main stage for her first dance, having turned 17 that day.

My strip club virgin friend looked shocked and said, "My daughter is seventeen."

One of the drunk guys heard that, pointed at my friend and shouted, "Hey, everyone! It's his daughter!"

* * *

What brought this to mind was a scene in a recent Sopranos, where the guyz are hanging out at the Bada Bing and Chris is marvelling about his little daughter and wondering what life will be like in 20 years. Paulie says, "She'll probably be working here then."

how i busted my strip club cherry

Kimba commented on my recent post about a night in Kalamazoo that I should write about more strip club experiences.

During the waning years of my first marriage I had begun traveling to different parts of the country on business. Until I was past 30, I had never been to a strip club, and if any of my male friends at the time had been, it had never come up in conversation.

One afternoon in the late 80s, I found myself in Seattle, driving from the airport to my hotel downtown. Driving down Denny Way, I saw a sign that said "Razzmatazz -- topless" or something like that. Without forethought, I pulled into the parking lot and entered the club.

I had heard about "private dances" and even read an illustrated article in Playboy some years back about the new trend of "Texas couch dances."

As I remember, the club had a single stage with a girl dancing. It last late afternoon, and not too many customers in the place. Several dancers combed the room asking patrons if they wanted table dances. I kept saying no, especially as I wanted to witness what this was about before handing over money.

They had cards on the tables advertising "table dances" for $5. After a while a couple of the other customers did buy dances and I could see that the girls stood in front of them by the table, removed their tops and danced. I didn't notice much contact -- perhaps an occasional brush-up.

What I saw wasn't that intriguing, but I thought, "Here I am, I should experience this, and it's only five bucks."

A bit later, a dancer approached me to ask if I wanted a dance. She was pretty cute, and I answered "maybe." She asked if she could sit with me and I said sure, so she took the chair next to me and started a conversation. She, like so many dancers I've chatted with since, was working her way through school.

After a few minutes of this she leaned over, stuck her tongue in my ear, and asked, "Would you like the $5 dance or the $10 dance." This was a great introduction to the world of private dances, the opportunities and negotiations that often arise. I'm no dummy, I said "$10."

She proceeded to give me a dance that, while it wouldn't impress me in today's world of $30 lap dances, had a fair amount of leg-to-dick pressure action, blowing in ears, hair trailing over my head and chest and other things that were a great turn-on to a guy who was more than 15 years into a relatively sexless marriage. Schwing!

I know I had at least one more dance, and maybe two before thanking her and leaving to finish the trip to my hotel for check-in.

I knew I had opened a Pandora's Box of sorts. Although sexually frustrated in my marriage, I didn't want to have an affair. I realized that I could achieve a sort of sexual satisfaction (even without orgasm) this way. It led to many nights on the road experiencing a variety of clubs, and later to massage parlors and (only in Nevada) brothels.

Also, I found that trying to research the sex trade in each town I visited was a challenge and a fascination. Remember, this was before the internet. When I hit town, I would buy the local newspaper, pick up the alternative free weekly and anything else that held the promis of information, and then consult the yellow pages. I learned to parse language, especially with regard to massage joints, to determine what kind of place it was and what kind of experience to expect.

I still find myself doing this kind of research, now on the internet and in advance of a trip, even without any plan to engage in these activities. I love reading escort and courtesan web sites, reading reviews on TER and strip club sites, and finding local sex-trade info sites.

i watched some gals in kalamazoo

I'm guess most of you are too young to have listened to Glen Miller, thus the above reference is lost. Hell, he was dead 25 years before I heard him. But me listening to Glen Miller when I was 17 is, chronologically speaking, like my daughter listening to the first Led Zeppelin albun, which indeed she did at that age.

This post isn't about Glen Miller, although it could be because the rumor is that he was not lost in an aircraft, but died at a French whorehouse. I like that story.

Anyhoo, this post is about Kalamazoo, and it is inspired by a comment EmmaK made on her own blog, referring to spaghetti hoops. I assume that is a quaint English term for SpaghettiO's.

So there I was in Kalamazoo, Michigan, on business, on a Wednesday night. Sorry, Michiganders, but that's a fucking bad place to be alone in the middle of the week. So I did what I usually did back then when faced with that situation, I found a local strip club.

It was the Deja Vu, an outlet of the McDonald's of strip clubs -- consistent from location to location, a little bland, but it's OK as long as it isn't the only food you eat.

What I learned on entry was that Wednesday was SpaghettiO's Wrestling night! I think they were inspired by the commercials that aired in the 60s.

So I sat there and watched as industrial size cans of the stuff were dumped onto the stage. The girls came out in bikinis and commenced to wrestling.

I know many people think that stripping and lap dancing is demeaning to the women who do it. I don't feel this way. But this was. And I didn't find it sexy at all. It was fairly disgusting.

It did appeal to the poor schnooks in the audience who were probably totally controlled by their mothers, wives or girlfriends and needed to demonstrate they had power by paying these poor women to slip and slide (oops, there goes the bikini) is this goop.

I left and had some dinner. I decided not to get Italian food.

This leads me to my other SpaghettiO's story. Also some years ago, I was in a fishing supply store in St. Cloud, Minnesota and saw a stack of can's labeled "Fish Assholes." I thought it was amusing and bought a few for myself and friends. One of them opened his can, and what was inside... SpaghettiO's. At least that's what we think they really were.

putting the strip in strip steak

Fun review of a steak house inside the Penthouse Club in Manhattan from of all places the New York Times.

guess they've never been to flashdancers

First Beaver Spotted in NYC
in 200 Years

Feb 23, 9:57 AM

NEW YORK (AP) - Beavers grace New York City's official seal. But the industrious rodents have not been seen in the flesh here for as many as 200 years - until this week.

Biologists videotaped a beaver swimming up the Bronx River on Wednesday. Its twig-and-mud lodge had been spotted earlier on the river bank, but the tape confirmed the presence of the animal itself.

"It had to happen because beaver populations are expanding, and their habitats are shrinking," said Dietland Muller-Schwarze, a beaver expert at the State University of New York College of Environmental Science and Forestry in Syracuse. "We're probably going to see more of them in the future."

Beavers gnawed out a prominent place in the city's early days as a European settlement, attracting fur traders to a nascent Manhattan. The animal appears in the city seal to symbolize a Dutch trading company that factored in the city's colonial beginnings, according to the city's Web site.

But amid heavy trapping, beavers disappeared from the city in the early 1800s, according to the city Parks & Recreation Department.

The beaver that has made its way to the Bronx appears to be a male, several feet (a meter) long and two or three years old, said Patrick Thomas, the mammals curator at the nearby Bronx Zoo.

Biologists have nicknamed the animal "Jose," as a tribute to U.S. Rep. Jose Serrano's work to revive the river. The Bronx Democrat lined up federal money for a cleanup.

"But I don't know to what extent I imagined things living in it again," he said.

WWJ*D

*Jim

lipstick on your...what?

About 15 years ago I spent a night in Memphis while traveling on business. I dined at a hole in the wall barbecue place and had barbecue spaghetti and a very large Coke. Barbecue spaghetti is pasta with a very meaty sauce, and the meat is chopped up pork. It was very spicy and I needed all of that Coke.

Afterwards, I went to a strip club, something I did nearly every night I was on the road alone. I was wearing white jeans, something I can no longer believe I owned and wore, but there you are.

The club was very swank, with several stages. After a while a beautiful African-American dancer sat next to me and we began chatting. I asked her to do a lap dance, and hers was very slow and sensual. She didn't ask me to do another right away, but continued to sit with me and chat for a few songs. While she did, she put her hand on my leg and then started moving her finger around my crotch, tracing my hard-on, which assured it would remain so. Then she asked if she could do another dance, and of course I agreed. This pattern continued for a while, but each dance got sexier. She unbuttoned my shirt a bit and played with my nipples, And then, she dropped down between my legs and feigned a blow job, chomping ever so lightly on my cock.

Several days later, after traveling east across Tennessee to Gatlinburg, I was ready to go home. That day I had put on the same white jeans. But just before leaving my motel, I noticed something in the mirror that didn't look right. I looked down at my crotch and there was red lipstick in perfect lip formation. I just about freaked out at the thought I could have been seeing customers and then flying home to my wife dressed like that.

I quickly changed pants, and with some effort washed the lipstick off of the white jeans. As I drove around that day, those jeans were on the back shelf of the car, in the sun, and my the time I had to go to the airport they were dry and squeaky clean.

So next time a stripper chomps on your cock through your pants, be sure to look for markings later. I know, it happens all the time.