Sunday, September 24, 2006

fuck yourself

With a six inch dick, it's physically impossible, though God knows I've tried. Can't even bend around to suck myself. I guess I could stick a dildo up my ass, but I'm not really into that.

So what's left is jerking off. If I ever got as much sex as I wanted in life, no matter how good it might be, I would still jerk off. Some women get insulted if they catch us at it or otherwise learn we are doing this.

Truly, we're doing the ladies a favor by reducing the build-up and our dependence on them. But they take it personally in some way.

If you're a man, your dick is your best friend, confidante and the only reliable pleasure provider you'll ever have. Through thick and thin -- and whether it's thick or thin -- it will be there for you.

I was a slow learner and didn't figure out I could make myself cum until I was 17. Man, was I backed up! At that age, the biggest concern was seeing where all the spunk went so you wouldn't miss any when you cleaned up. Of course, Mom knew you jerked off, but neither of you wanted to confront the reality that you knew that she knew that you did it.

8 comments:

Andie said...

This post just struck me as son funny, I guess because it is so true...LOL!!

God, what a pain in the ass it must be to be a guy and have to "clean up" after every mastabatory session..LOL!!

Al Sensu said...

Well, we guys have little to compalin about compared to what women have to put up with. But thanks for the thought. Now where was that box of Kleenex?

Horny Old Guy said...

Ah we share the same philosophy on the joys of jacking off! Wow, no JO until you were 17? You were indeed a slow learner but I'm sure you made up for lost time! I discovered that wonderful sport pre-puberty (over 50 years ago!) and I've been doing it ever since. My younger sis and my mom both caught me in the act as a teen...embarrassing as hell then but sort of amusing now.

Al Sensu said...

Well at least that never happened to me, but indeed I have made up for lost time, every day since and twice on Sunday.

katie schwartz said...

sensu, that is some funny shit because it's so damn true! I'm sure my brothers went through the same thing!

Head Like Velvet said...

Far from insulting - what a turn on to watch! And if he tells me he's done it during a time I wasn't around, I ask him to give me all the details of what he was thinking about.

Spice said...

I like to watch while The Man does it; it's sexy... Your post made me laugh!
xx

toto said...

I dont remember when the first time I masturbated, but I guess it was long time ago at about 11-12. Back then I didnt even squirt at all only 'very good feeling'. And then when I first squirt my load, I was so scared because it wetted my underwear and I had to go to bathroom at the middle of nite to clean it. Afraid my parents would know. In the morning I immediately put my underwear in the wet laundry so nobody knows. It was so funny.