Sunday, December 31, 2006

al's new year's gift to you

This is my favorite video of the year. For those who don't know Bob Saget, he is a stand-up comic best known for his role in the syrupy sitcom "Full House". For anyone who has only seen him in that show, this video will come as quite a shock. But for anyone who has seen "The Aristocrats", it won't.


Wednesday, December 27, 2006

al the elf


Click
and I'll do my sex dance.

Saturday, December 23, 2006

al's christmas gift to you


Andy Samberg & Justin Timberlake, Saturday Night Live, December 16, 2006

JWWFG

For an explanation, see Katie Schwartz's great post in Amy Guth's Chanukah Blog Tour.

And now, in truly American fashion, you can purchase a JWWFG magnet. Yes, put it on your fridge; amuse your friends and family!

Friday, December 22, 2006

hey, baby, baby, let me light your candles!

Who is this incredibly sexy woman? She's my latest fantasy Jewess, Le Güth.

Her name is Amy and she's written a book. And she has recruited 36 Jewish bloggers including me ("Sensu? Doesn't sound Jewish!") to answer some questions she's written, into which she has deftly laid a promo for her book.

Speaking of laid, I have a question for her, but that will be asked privately.

And now the envelope please:

1. Quick! You must turn a plate of latkes into an upscale gourmet delight (as if they aren't already?). What would you add to them to dress them up, flavor and/or garnish them?

A little cum topping. Beats sour cream.

2. What is the dumbest thing you've ever heard anyone say about Chanukah?

"I'm going to have a Chanukah Blog Tour."

3. What's the best possible use for olive oil?

Slather our naked bodies in it and wrestle.

4. Settle it once and for all. Latkes or hammentaschen? Which do you prefer? What about pitting the winner of that contest against sufganiyot?

Hammentaschen. They're triangle-shaped and I like licking the gooey center. Get it? The sufganiyot is to enjoy in the afterglow.

5. What's the best way to mix up a game of dreidel?

Play strip dreidel...and then when everyone's naked refer back to #3.

6. My novel, Three Fallen Women, shockingly enough, is about the lives of three women. Which three women would you like to have over this year for latkes and why?

Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Emmanuelle Chriqui. Do you really have to ask why? (and they're Jewish, of course). We'll do #5, then #3, then #1.


7. Other than Three Fallen Women (har har), what book do you think would make a great Chanukah gift this year? What book would you like to receive as a gift this year?

I would give The Amorous Busboy of Decatur Avenue by Robert Klein and would like to receive Judaism for Dummies.

8. What bloggers didn't participate in Chanukah Blog Tour 5767 and you think should have?

Dr. Ruth.

Le Güth responds to Al Sensu's proposition.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

from the desk of al sensu

Schwartzie tagged me to display or describe the contents of my desk. Now, most of this is top secret, but I have prepared a photo essay showing selected items that have been declassified, or at least declasse:

1- Czech edition of Playboy purchased at Prague airport
2- salt & pepper shakers purchased at Lincoln's 10,000 Silver Dollar Bar in Haugan, Montana
3 - to do list



close-up of to do list

Czech Playmate profile


close-up of salt & pepper shakers


Publishers Weekly article on erotica


cute postcard


paper clips, post-it notes, stamps and jerk-off cream (for #3 on to do list)

sugasm #59

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #60? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

By Invitation Only (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)

“I was being watched by a room full of people, but all I could think about was his thick cock, pounding me, his balls slapping against my ass.”

Love that aural sex (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)

“…The lazy way your honeyed tones flow out, saying my name, or merely whispering “Is that good, baby? You like that?” as you slide a finger in and out of me, deliberately and slowly.”

What BDSM Can Tell Us All About Sex (part 1) (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)


“That’s another form of power exchange: if I ‘let’ you have sex with someone else, it’s very different than if you sneak off and fuck that person without having permission.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Everyone Diggs Porn (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice


Sandra Claus (http://secretbrain.blogspot.com)

Sponsored Link

G-Spot Orgasm Survey Take the G-spot survey and win one of two £100 LoveHoney sex toy shopping sprees

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

6 Weird Things About Me Sexually…I’ve Been Tagged! (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com)

“F” is for fabulous… (http://blackbookgirls.com)

My Wacky Erotic Mind (http://www.seska4lovers.com)

Sex Toys - Your Next Erotic Frontier (http://sexdriver.blogspot.com)


NSFW Pics (& videos)

Cleanliness is Next to Horniness (http://kitchen-girls.blogspot.com)

Keeley Hazell Calendar 2007 (http://myhotbox.blogspot.com)

Mini-Documentary of me… (video)(http://duckydoo.livejournal.com)


Super hot nude girl from Ron Harris (http://eroticandy.blogspot.com)

Threesome Advice (part 3) (http://www.seskuality.com)


Sex Work

Amateur Porn “Penetration” - Part VI (http://blog.homegrownvideo.com)


Another One About Sex Work (http://sabrinainstockings.com)

Loud Sex (http://www.model-chat.com)

A Quickie (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)


Sexy Humor

10 Unintentionally Naughty and Terrible Domain Names (http://www.teen-porn-site.com)


Erotic Writing and Experiences

Anonymous (http://lafillemariee.blogspot.com)

He Took off My Clothes (http://www.suzanneportnoy.com)

I wanted to lick her out so bad (http://thediaryofanenglishrose.blogspot.com)

My Addiction (http://randisexadpoetry.blogspot.com)

Office Heat - Part 1 (http://dirtytalk.wordpress.com)

Red Light Special (http://ellabeecoquette.blogspot.com)

Snowday Sex (http://mandyseroticlife.blogspot.com)

The Sportscar, Part 2 (http://erotischism.blogspot.com)

Such a Nice Girl (http://onlyamirage.blogspot.com)


Sex and Politics

Masturbation: How to Conquer the Corrupting Habit (http://www.taratainton.com)

Teacher fired for porn past (http://deliciously-naughty.typepad.com)


BDSM and Fetish

A Nawty Story: Jenny’s New Slave (http://anawtymouz.blogspot.com)

Dishonourable Discharge (http://assistantmistress.blogspot.com)

Leaving on a Jet Plane (http://naughtythoughtsinmymind.blogspot.com)

Morning masturbation (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com)

Naval floggings: the girls take their turn (http://www.spankingwriters.com/blog)

Playing at the W, Part III (http://www.betweensheets.net)

Split Penis, Anyone? (Editor’s note: Don’t say we didn’t warn you.) (http://pornster.blogspot.com)


Sex News & Reviews

Blue King Pleasure Scepter Glass Dildo Review (http://stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)

Shay’s Sexmas Gift Guide 2 (http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)


Tuesday, December 12, 2006

sugasm #58

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #58? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

Thanks, Sugasmers, for putting me at the top of the list this week!

This Week’s Picks

6 weird things about me (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com)
“I’ve masturbated to completion more than 13,000 times.”

Polygamy, chastity, and sexual pragmatics (http://www.realadultsex.com)
“Lest you think the “sister-wives” could always take matters into their own or each other’s hands…”

What a woman wants (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
“Tell me about the couple who would have you fuck the wife, and the husband watch.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
My Bare Lady (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice

Don’t you dare cum yet (http://bratmaster.co.uk)

Sponsored Link

G-Spot Orgasm Survey Take the G-spot survey and win one of two £100 LoveHoney sex toy shopping sprees

Sex News & Reviews
Call for Xmas Cocks and Cunts! ( http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)
Discovering New Desires with Naughty Game Play (http://www.taratainton.com )

BDSM and Fetish
Fiction: Timothy and the Pony Girls of the Night ( http://erotiterrorist.blogspot.com)
Happy HNT - Sexy candy cane panties ( http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com )
My imminent chastisement ( http://battletofindmyself.blogspot.com )
The Truth - Confessions of a sissy cock sucker ( http://www.caramelvixen.com/vixen-blog)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Blowjob Monday ( http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)
Mile High Club ( http://wanklog.blogspot.com)
No Words ( http://bigboysa.blogspot.com)
Remembering summer, remembering lust (http://justsexdrugsandrocknroll.blogspot.com)
Sassy Claus (http://nocloudnine.blogspot.com)
Under the Table (http://drtycplinva.blogspot.com)


NSFW Pics (& videos)
Alison Angel - Baywatch ( http://hotboxbabe.thumblogger.com)
Crystal Klein Nude ( http://eroticandy.blogspot.com/)
Fully Nekkid In The Shower HNT (http://stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)
Katie’s sexy striptease ( http://myhotbox.blogspot.com)
Tiffaney 2 ( http://facialsluts.ilovejulienight.com)

Sex & Politics

Anti-Anti-Pornography, Part IV: “Da Vinci Code” is Not Pornography ( http://www.teen-porn-site.com/blog)
The Return of Segregation and Silicone (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com )

Sexy Humor

Ask Art: The Sexual Misadvice Column ( http://secretbrain.blogspot.com )

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Bad Santas! ( http://www.1trackmind.com)
Fellatio, Round 4 ( http://www.betweensheets.net)

Monday, December 11, 2006

got testosterone?

So my doctor told me today my testosterone level is too low. He said it's important to have the correct level for my health.

This explains why I only need to jerk off 5 times a week instead of 10 as I used to.

I told my wife I would be taking testosterone supplements. Let's just say she is scared.

My six inch best friend is happy as hell.

I may be growing old, but don't plan to do it gracefully.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

sugasm #57

This week’s best of the sex blogs from the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #58? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

The Other Side of Hotwifery (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
“Since he had been so cavalier about it prior to my ever actually going through with such an event, I had given almost no thought to how it might affect him.”

The Blender (http://radicalvixen.com/blog)
“You want to pick me? Did I win a contest?”

Meeting in a Car - part one (http://emergingontheotherside.blogspot.com)
“His tongue teased hers, and her lips teased his in retaliation”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Welcome to Googlestan! Google Purges Adult Content from Search Results (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice
Desire so overwhelming I could do anything (http://sugarbutch.blogspot.com)

Sponsored Link

iBuzz Two - the new iPod Sex
Toy for couples
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/ibuzztwo/ “Next-gen vibrator gives everything you and your partner need to enjoy music and music-activated vibrations at the same time. Even works with a Zune ;-)

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm


Thoughts on Sex and Relationships


A Way With Words: Aural Fixation (http://exploreros.blogspot.com)

Breaking the golden rule, Part I (http://www.betweensheets.net)

Confronting Things Head-On: How We Got Here (Part 1 of 2) (http://perverselypoly.blogspot.com)

Sex Addict?! (http://www.model-chat.com)

Sex and the Movies (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com)

“Tossing the Salad” (http://sexeteria.net)


Erotic Writing and Experiences

A Break From The Dance (http://mandyseroticlife.blogspot.com)

Crush - Part II (http://lafillemariee.blogspot.com)

Eyes (http://designingintimacy.blogspot.com)

Guy #2: November 24, 2006 - The Swing (http://mysexualmisadventures.blogspot.com)

He Says (http://sexcakes.blogspot.com)

I am yours (http://wetbeyondbelief.blogspot.com)

Late Night Meeting (http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)

Lori – Part II (http://masterenigma.blogspot.com)

My girlfriend the stripper, part 1 (http://erotischism.blogspot.com)

Phoenix Has a Long Night at The Office (http://dirtydetails.blogspot.com)

The School Camp (http://wanklog.blogspot.com)

Why I Love My Job… (http://stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)

Sex News & Reviews

Girls with Guns: There’s Nothing Sexier (http://www.taratainton.com)

Most Erotic Sex Movie Scene (http://ncnewcpl4u.blogspot.com)

Ray Spade Retro Collection (http://retrosexblog.com)

Welcome to “Sir Dirty Joke” by Sir Dirty Joke (http://sexblogwelcome.blogspot.com)

Why You Shouldn’t Spend Money On SkinVideo (http://ylovesporn.com)

Sexy Humor

What did Simon Cowell do before he was famous? (http://sextoysinsider.com)


Sex & Politics

Anti-Anti-Pornography, Part III: A Concept (http://www.teen-porn-site.com/blog)

NSFW Pics (& videos)

First alone thanksgiving (http://stealthbombshell.blogspot.com)

Get a grip! (http://kitchen-girls.blogspot.com)

Half-Nekkid Sex Blogging (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com)

Happy HNT - Sexy Holiday Stockings (http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com)

“I Like Men, Women, Angels…” (http://totalsensuality.blogspot.com)

MILF sucks on a cock (4) (video) (http://deepthroat.ilovejulienight.com)

BDSM and Fetish

A Nawty Story: Kitten’s Reward and Punishment (http://anawtymouz.blogspot.com)

On Loan, Finale (http://engrailed.com)

Sex Work

What Happened to Good Old Fashioned BDSM? (http://lipstickexplosion.com)

Sunday, December 03, 2006

6 weird things about me

And yet another challenging meme. This time I was tagged by the lovely Megan, and this one comes with rules:

1. Each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you”.

2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly.

3. At the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

So here are my 6:
  1. I’ve tried on multiple occasions to imagine the idea of me sucking another man’s cock. Just doesn’t work for me. Guess I’m too straight. I think the reason it intrigues me is that I love cum shots; could watch them on pornos all day. Now, I have a friend who would be horrified to read this. He doesn’t even want to look at porn if it’s going to show a naked man. I understand why some women love the feeling of hot cum shooting into their mouths, but it’s not for me (in the receiving position).
  2. I’m taking supplements so I’ll produce more semen. It’s working. I’ve been unhappy with the decrease in semen production as I get older.
  3. I’ve masturbated to completion more than 13,000 times. No, I don’t keep count, but I wanked at least daily from ages 17 to 52, so do the math. I’ve missed an occasional day since then. Damn, I’m slowing down. But put me in a hotel on a business trip with the right fantasies, and I can rub off as many as 3 in a day. Pretty good for an old guy.
  4. I didn’t know about masturbation, or at least what it really was and how to do it, until I was 17. Been making up for lost time since then.
  5. The first time I ever orgasmed, it was during a makeout session when I was 16 (remember, this is pre-wanking), and I don’t remember feeling anything until I realized my briefs were wet and sticky.
  6. Since age 16 I have spent a total of 6 months not in a steady relationship or marriage. Not specifically coinciding with those periods, I have lived alone for less than 6 months during my life.
And now for the tags:

Katie - Don - Eva - Jazz - Bella - NV