Happy Hanukkah!

From Fleshbot:

Tonight's the first night of Chanukah, and as Members of the Tribe everywhere know, it's not a Jewish holiday unless you're eating something. Latkes, doughnuts, pussy—as long as it's covered in oil, we'd like to eat it, please.

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

The recent news about Tiger Woods caused my wife and me to recall a pact we made early on in our marriage regarding possible infidelity: Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

We decided that if either of us should have sex outside of marriage, the other didn't want to know about it. We weren't putting a value judgment on it, or even saying we felt OK if the other had an affair. As a matter of fact, the reason for this agreement was the assumption that it wouldn't feel OK to the other partner. But unlike proponents of abstinence-only education, we are realistic enough to believe that knowing something is wrong doesn't prevent you from doing it.

Frankly, I don't believe that having sex outside of marriage is necessarily wrong. If it's a one-time thing, pleasurable, and done with a measure of safety, it's like having a nice dinner. But I don't want to have a picture in my mind of my wife doing it with someone else. I'd rather just not know.

So there are some requirements that go with this policy:

1. Practice safer sex. That is an absolute requirement which, if violated, would require disclosure to the spouse.
2. If you feel guilty, you must not let it show. It is your problem, and not one to be relieved by "confessing."
3. Be smart about concealing this activity as regards your voice and electronic communications.
4. Be smart about doing it in a way that won't raise suspicions or cause an innocent question that has a guilty reaction. Best solution is not to do it in your home town.
5. Realize that a one-nighter is one thing, an ongoing affair is another. The latter will likely be harmful to your marriage in one or more ways: An affair is a relationship that competes with your marriage for your emotional attention as well as time. It can affect your performance at work. And a lover spurned is likely to let your wife know, or broadcast the news via social media or by just telling a lot of people. (And it only gets worse if you're well-known!)

Even if you don't have an agreement with your spouse or partner, if you do have sex outside of your committed relationship and wish not to harm that relationship, these requirements still apply.

Louis Abolafia

Louis Abolafia was well known to New Yorkers in the late 1960s, an integral part of the New York and San Francisco hippie anti-war movements and general troublemaker.

He was a participant in the International Psychedelic Exposition, held in 1967. The catalog describes the exhibition as follows:

The purposes of the First International Psychedelic Exposition are manifold. On one level we hope to give the general public a glimpse of the psychedelic world and the beautiful creations it has inspired. On another level we hope that open and forthright exposition of psychedelic phenomena by the people it has inspired will facilitate communication between those who are somewhat fearful of the mind expansion experience and those who have had the experience and found a method to present what they found most worthwhile, be it through music, art, visual techniques, or group events."

The catalog also promoted "a common drug available to anyone with $5.00 to spare - lysergic acid diethylamide". Yes, LSD was then legal.

Louis Abolafia was the founder and father of the Exotic Erotic Ball. From its web site:

"Known as the King of Hippies and the man who coined the phrase "Make Love Not War," he felt nudity and love were better expressions than war and oppression. This couldn't be truer today, and so we continue to celebrate his dream with music, feasting, fun, nudity (or close to it) and love for all.

In the beginning there was Louis Abolafia and his good friend Perry Mann. They made their dwellings in the Land by the Bay. One day, Louis approached Perry and said: "I want to run for President. I will be the candidate from the Nudist Party. Will you help me do this?" Perry responded: "Please tell me, Louis, why is it that you wish to run for President under the Nudist Party?" Louis responded: "It is because I have absolutely nothing to hide." Perry smiled and said: "Then I will help you."

To help finance Louis' candidacy, Perry created an event that celebrated freedom, the right to choose, and the right to be as one chooses to be. This is widely known as freedom of expression. People came to the event Perry created in the land by the Bay to experience this freedom of expression, and they rejoiced. And the Exotic Erotic Ball was born."

The ball celebrates its 30th anniversary tomorrow, and I just wanted to remember Louis and his wonderful spirit.

Ah, the taste of Lysol!

Sugasm #170

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #171? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

The fundamental things apply…

“If you can’t fuck me with your mouth, how are you going to handle fucking all of me at once?”

Perfection

“Patiently, he took his time touching me here and there.”

The Study Date (Sugarbutch Star: Green-Eyed Girl)

“I bet she’s already wet.”

Sugasm Editor

Wardrobe Malfunction

Editor’s Choice

3a.m. Vulnerability

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

Erotic Writing & Experiences

Adventures in Swingland

Cum Dump

A First Lesson

Getting Her in the Mood and the Violet Panties

Great Blowjob in the Tub

A Honey Dream Come True

Making Magic

Object of Desire

Parker Chase

Satisfaction

Slick

Tease.

There’s This Hallway In This Bar Thats Just Right

News, Reviews & Interviews

LELO Iris

Princess by RubyGlass21

Review: Inner Vibe Duet

Top Five Tuesday - Sweet Treats

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Almost Demure

Bijou | Bootsie

FF: New camera!

Hard Caning Pictures

HNT – July 23rd, 2009

Jessica Simpson Poking Nipples at Golf with Tiger Woods

Panty Photo for Adult Women

Sunlight Follows Me

Sex Work

Kyra’s Chysalis

BDSM & Fetish

BDSM Toy Review: Scott Paul Humiliator Gag

Dear #16

Fear

Needles

Never Caned Before

Never Too Much

Not-So-Vanilla

Paddling – Must be happen

The Poolbou’s Education, Pt. 1

Rack scenes

Seriously?

Urgency

Sex Humor

Some Coke and A Smile

Vibrator Perspective. Confession #305

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Chemistry

Damp Down Under

Why No, It’s Not LBD

Kyra's Chrysalis

Once upon a time, before the internet, it was difficult to learn about sexual services and the like. In the late 80s I entered a period of regular visits to strip clubs and massage parlors. But with no ready reviews, it was hit and miss, especially as a lot of this happened when I was traveling the country on business, so I couldn't avail myself of local word of mouth.

But my first and most regular erotic massage experience was at Kyra's Chrysalis in Old Orchard Beach, Maine. I'm sure I found out about it through their coded ads in newspaper classifieds. I remember calling the first time, not knowing how it all worked or what to expect, and I was read the menu. Intrigued by "Bubble Bath Surprise" I made a reservation and headed over.

Kyra's was in a private home in this very touristy town. But it was totally discreet, and I believe it lived off of local clientele rather than tourists. Kyra herself was a remarkable woman, a psychic who performed past life regressions as well as managing her rub-n-tug business. She was warm and welcoming and considered the service she and her ladies were providing a sacred enterprise.

The women who worked there were not hotties. They were mostly single mothers. Certainly they were attractive enough, but it was their personalities and approach to the work that made visiting Kyra's such a pleasure. They provided an outlet for many unsatisfied married men.

The Bubble Bath Surprise was a 45-minute session. It began with the bubble bath, with your chosen lady in lingerie washing you all over. Then to the massage table. The women at Kyra's could deliver a decent Swedish massage. On the flip they would go topless and there might be a little body to body contact. But this was closer to therapeutic massage with a happy ending then it was to something more overtly sexual. Pretty tame by today's standards.

And yet it was exactly what I needed at the time. A fun, "clean," guiltless, sensual experience and release provided by a nice lady. And the price was amazingly reaosnable, even for twenty years ago: $45 plus tip. The tip was not spoken of, negotiated on, or a condition of the hand release. When the session was over, you could tip if you wanted. I always tipped $40 and thought I was being pretty generous, and I think by their reactions the ladies agreed.

Eventually, Old Orchard passed a law against hand jobs and Kyra was run out of town. She relocated at least twice in different towns in the Portland area, but eventually disappeared.

If anyone knows what happened to Kyra, please comment here. I want her to know, along with Linda, Amber and the other ladies, how wonderful their service was and how much it was appreciated.

Advice: Threesome Wish

Q:
Am i wrong for wanting to have sex with a girl and my future husband.

A:
Nothing wrong with it. And I'd like to find the guy who would object to this.

But if you are really thinking of doing it, rather than just having it as a fantasy, know that it is playing with fire. Things can go wrong. Like he doesn't like seeing you have sex with another girl as much as he thought he would. Or you don't want a full 3-some, where he does it with the other. Or he does, but then you regret it. On the other hand, lots of folks do this and everyone's happy.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Advice: Is porn more important than me?

Q:
OK so i met a girl at a bar one night i got her number we had sex that morning.
we hit it off pretty good going camping and out to bars all the time on weekends.
we talked about love and kids and moving out together (she stayed in the basement of grandma's kinda like her own place she paid rent) and i stayed there for most of the almost 6 months we were together.

well she found out i was looking up porn on her computer she was angry asked me not to do it on her computer. i said OK and promised not to do it again and so she found out i did again happened 4 times to b exact. the third time was her b-day and we broke up and she took me back but said if i did it again we were done.

obviously i did it again and now she will hardly talk to me been 3 months since it happened. i cant sleep, eat, or think right. we argued for quite awhile and finally she said it wasn't love it was her just wanting to party and me just wanting to fuck.
well what do i do?

i know we were right for each other but she cant get over that.please please help me

A:
Hey buddy, I have no issues with porn, but she did. And it was her computer. If you wouldn't stop, obviously the porn was more important to you than she was.

I don't believe what she told you however, because if this relationship was just about partying she wouldn't be so put out about the porn. She'd be annoyed for sure, and so would I if you kept doing something on my property I asked you not to.

I think first you need to address your porn addiction, because that's what it is. You may want to try therapy.

Then you can try going back to her and tell her that you've worked on your problem.