trash is as trash does

Recently I attended a sex show. This wasn't a demonstration of sexual acts in a cabaret. Instead, it was like a trade show, but for consumers, in a convention center. The picture on the right sums up my reaction to what I saw.

There were a few truly sexy aspects, such as the feather dancer pictured below. But overall there was little eroticism to be found.


On stage:




Non-piercing Jewelry:




A little disposable vibrator; versions for men and women:


Drink up and you'll get it up, I guess:


Ladies of Porno Pro Wrestling:


Invitations:

sex and the movies

So Katie Schwartz tagged me for a movie meme. Now, this is a sex blog so all my answers will use that as context:

1. Popcorn or candy?

Popcorn, because of the scene in Diner where Mickey Rourke gets the girl to touch his cock by sticking it up through the bottom of the popcorn box.

2. Name a movie you've been meaning to see forever.

I am Curious (Yellow). Just added it to my Netflix queue.

3. You are given the power to recall one Oscar: Who loses theirs and to whom?

Tom Schulman, screenplay for Dead Poets Society, 1989. Steven Soderbergh should have won for sex, lies and videotape.

4. Steal one costume from a movie for your wardrobe.

Marlon Brando's trenchcoat from Last Tango in Paris. It says "Hey, little girl, come here, I have something for you hehe."

5. Your favorite film franchise is....

Godfather. OK there's not much sex it in. But there's that great bedroom scene with the horse's head.

6. Invite five movie people over for dinner. Who are they? Why'd you invite them? What do you feed them?

Scarlett Johansson, Catherine Denueve, Amanda Peet, Salma Hayek, Natalie Portman. Because they are hot. Champagne and caviar, then a little bit of Al.

7. What is the appropriate punishment for people who answer cell phones in the movie theater?

Shush them.

8. Choose a female bodyguard: Ripley from Aliens. Mystique from X-Men. Sarah Connor from Terminator. The Bride from Kill Bill. Mace from Strange Days.

Sarah.

9. What's the scariest thing you've ever seen in a movie?

Jack Nicholson's ass in Something's Gotta Give.

10. Your favorite genre (excluding "comedy" and "drama") is....

Porno made for women.

11. You are given the power to greenlight movies at a major studio for one year. How do you wield this power?

Casting couch.

12. Bonnie or Clyde?

This is a sex blog, and I'm straight. Bonnie.

13. Who am I tagging to answer this survey?

Everyone who reads this.

14. If Jesus were to submit a synopsis of a documentary about life in America since 9/11, what would his pov be? ::: not a joke question. I'm really curious.

How the fuck do people who say they believe in me get so worked up over seeing part of Janet Jackson's areola, not even the full nipple, for a split second? What the fuck is wrong with this culture?