Friday, December 22, 2006

hey, baby, baby, let me light your candles!

Who is this incredibly sexy woman? She's my latest fantasy Jewess, Le Güth.

Her name is Amy and she's written a book. And she has recruited 36 Jewish bloggers including me ("Sensu? Doesn't sound Jewish!") to answer some questions she's written, into which she has deftly laid a promo for her book.

Speaking of laid, I have a question for her, but that will be asked privately.

And now the envelope please:

1. Quick! You must turn a plate of latkes into an upscale gourmet delight (as if they aren't already?). What would you add to them to dress them up, flavor and/or garnish them?

A little cum topping. Beats sour cream.

2. What is the dumbest thing you've ever heard anyone say about Chanukah?

"I'm going to have a Chanukah Blog Tour."

3. What's the best possible use for olive oil?

Slather our naked bodies in it and wrestle.

4. Settle it once and for all. Latkes or hammentaschen? Which do you prefer? What about pitting the winner of that contest against sufganiyot?

Hammentaschen. They're triangle-shaped and I like licking the gooey center. Get it? The sufganiyot is to enjoy in the afterglow.

5. What's the best way to mix up a game of dreidel?

Play strip dreidel...and then when everyone's naked refer back to #3.

6. My novel, Three Fallen Women, shockingly enough, is about the lives of three women. Which three women would you like to have over this year for latkes and why?

Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Emmanuelle Chriqui. Do you really have to ask why? (and they're Jewish, of course). We'll do #5, then #3, then #1.

7. Other than Three Fallen Women (har har), what book do you think would make a great Chanukah gift this year? What book would you like to receive as a gift this year?

I would give The Amorous Busboy of Decatur Avenue by Robert Klein and would like to receive Judaism for Dummies.

8. What bloggers didn't participate in Chanukah Blog Tour 5767 and you think should have?

Dr. Ruth.

Le Güth responds to Al Sensu's proposition.


Amy Guth said...

Is there a name for the act of ejactulating ona latke? We must think of a name!

Thanks a million for this. Your post was, just as I expected it to be, wonderfully filthy and terribly good! :)

Amy Guth said...

Post Script, I love the Le Guth business.

Adam Shprintzen said...

Umm, wouldn't it have to be Bulatke?

Al Sensu said...

Amy, you're welcome. It was fun.

Adam, you NAILED it, bro! I never use this but: ROTFLMT*O


Adam Shprintzen said...

It's actually kind of sad how impressed with myself I am for that joke. But thanks for the non-sensical Interwebs abbreviation nonetheless.

Al Sensu said...

I have no problem with self-congratulations.

And I had a further thought, since Amy is a vegetarian, can she eat my gourmet latkes? I would think so, as long as she's not a vegan.

Finally, my Francophile wife says it should say La Guth, not Le Guth. I know she's right, but Le Guth sounds better.