Monday, May 14, 2007

i watched some gals in kalamazoo

I'm guess most of you are too young to have listened to Glen Miller, thus the above reference is lost. Hell, he was dead 25 years before I heard him. But me listening to Glen Miller when I was 17 is, chronologically speaking, like my daughter listening to the first Led Zeppelin albun, which indeed she did at that age.

This post isn't about Glen Miller, although it could be because the rumor is that he was not lost in an aircraft, but died at a French whorehouse. I like that story.

Anyhoo, this post is about Kalamazoo, and it is inspired by a comment EmmaK made on her own blog, referring to spaghetti hoops. I assume that is a quaint English term for SpaghettiO's.

So there I was in Kalamazoo, Michigan, on business, on a Wednesday night. Sorry, Michiganders, but that's a fucking bad place to be alone in the middle of the week. So I did what I usually did back then when faced with that situation, I found a local strip club.

It was the Deja Vu, an outlet of the McDonald's of strip clubs -- consistent from location to location, a little bland, but it's OK as long as it isn't the only food you eat.

What I learned on entry was that Wednesday was SpaghettiO's Wrestling night! I think they were inspired by the commercials that aired in the 60s.

So I sat there and watched as industrial size cans of the stuff were dumped onto the stage. The girls came out in bikinis and commenced to wrestling.

I know many people think that stripping and lap dancing is demeaning to the women who do it. I don't feel this way. But this was. And I didn't find it sexy at all. It was fairly disgusting.

It did appeal to the poor schnooks in the audience who were probably totally controlled by their mothers, wives or girlfriends and needed to demonstrate they had power by paying these poor women to slip and slide (oops, there goes the bikini) is this goop.

I left and had some dinner. I decided not to get Italian food.

This leads me to my other SpaghettiO's story. Also some years ago, I was in a fishing supply store in St. Cloud, Minnesota and saw a stack of can's labeled "Fish Assholes." I thought it was amusing and bought a few for myself and friends. One of them opened his can, and what was inside... SpaghettiO's. At least that's what we think they really were.


EmmaK said...

That is so hilarious!! How could anyone find that erotic? I put it in that sex scene on my blog precisely because sitting in a bath of spaghetti hoops is so totally unerotic. In a wierd way I can even understand naked chicks mud wrestling, but not sliding about in tomato sauce and spaghetti hoops. Gross!!

kimba said...

Al - more strip club regaling please.. surely you have more stories.. 'the strip club diaries'?

Al Sensu said...

Emma- Exactly, and I bet it never occured to you that this could be a real scene!

Kimba - I did one a while back.

I have a few more in me, though most of my visits are not noteworthy.

You might be interested in this blog which is dormant, by the man we now know as Semi-Celibate.

The Fury said...

There is absolutely nothing sexually exciting about a Spaghetti-O! This is hilarious!

Vanessa said...

Does every city have a strip club called Deja Vu? I don't understand the connection between the term Deja Vu and watching bored young women dancing naked. Unless what it means is "well, this is the same shit we've all seen before."

Though, not so much the Spaghetti-O's.

That's a new one.

Al Sensu said...

I can't speak to the name, but they have something like 80 clubs. In my strip club days, I quickly tired of their approach and I mostly found the women there, as you say, bored.

A good club recruits women who like doing this or at least do a good job of making it look like they enjoy it. Hey, it's show biz.