Friday, May 04, 2007

what would you do if jesus came to your house?

I've been tagged by Jew-lie to answer the above question. Here goes:

First, I'd make us some pastrami sandwiches, on rye with mustard and cole slaw. Sour pickles and a Dr. Brown's cream soda.

Then I'd have him call Mary Magdalene to come over for a threesome. He'd be impressive to watch...quite the cocksman.

After we sent her home, I'd bring out the small batch bourbon and we'd knock back a few shots. No need for him to work, making wine and such...it's Saturday.

Then to entertain me, he'd run some of his preaching riffs. Gawd he's good. No wonder those twelve guys follow him around like lost dogs.

As the sun went down, he'd say he needed to head home and put it to the ol' ball and chain again, because while we were both doing her he only got one pop.

Reflecting on the visit, I'd think, "they oughta name a drink, or something, after him".

3 comments:

Writeprocrastinator said...

"Cream soda?"

What, no "Cel-ray?" Dude, Mary was from back in the day...


no toothbrushes, no toothpaste. Teeth probably as funky as anything. We're talking almost pre-hygiene here and you know everyone except Jesus was sporting a unibrow and redefining what we interpet as "hirasute" (sp?).

You're a brave man, Al.

Al Sensu said...

I really, really wanted to like Cel-ray, but I just hate it. And why celery? Why not carrot soda or onion?

As to Mary, I didn't say I kissed her, did I?

"jew" "girl" said...

oh my god, sensu, fucking hysterical! preaching riffs... I peed a little. I fell out, yo. this is so tits. fucking brilliant.

I remain... your biggest fan.

xo,
jewlie (hahaha)