those sexy italians

There's a company it Italy that uses sexy female models to sell coffins. It's Cofani Funebri, and here are some of their product shots:

And if that weren't enough, they publish a calendar every year. Yes, they are the Pirelli of death! Get a look at 2007 here.

Here's the sales angle: You're jerking off to the calendar, have a heart attack and drop dead. Sorry, you don't get to "die happy" (like Nelson Rockefeller, whose wife, Happy -- yes that was her real name -- was not very, because he was schtupping his secretary when he kicked it).

Instead, your wife discovers you slumped on the floor, pants around your ankles and the calendar on the vanity. She pops a bottle of bubbly (like the model above) and orders up a Cofani Funebri coffin to bury you in, along with your pornos, penis pump, jackoff creams and pictures of old girlfriends.

Brother, you've just got to hope one of those models is a necrophile, so you can at least be happy in the afterlife.