do you like boobs a lot?

So asked The Fugs more years ago than I'd like to remember. That wonderful slutsky, Katie Schwartz asked me to help promote the 5th annual blogger Boobie-Thon, a wonderful concept where women post pictures of their breasts in various states of clothedness to raise money for charity during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. She knows I'll do anything she asks.

Let's do our part to preserve breasts and the women we love to whom they belong. Boobie-Thon runs from October 1 - 7.

semen is wasted on the young

Now, long past the point at which procreation is an issue, all I get is a dribble.

Had no warning it would be like this. Even porn cum shots, if the guy is 50 or older, aren't that interesting.

Sometimes I'll skip a couple of days, just in the hope of getting a good squirt.

Difficult to express why this matters, but I think it is part of the male hard-wiring to create something from nothing. So now the bathroom mirror, wall and ceiling are completely safe.

fuck yourself

With a six inch dick, it's physically impossible, though God knows I've tried. Can't even bend around to suck myself. I guess I could stick a dildo up my ass, but I'm not really into that.

So what's left is jerking off. If I ever got as much sex as I wanted in life, no matter how good it might be, I would still jerk off. Some women get insulted if they catch us at it or otherwise learn we are doing this.

Truly, we're doing the ladies a favor by reducing the build-up and our dependence on them. But they take it personally in some way.

If you're a man, your dick is your best friend, confidante and the only reliable pleasure provider you'll ever have. Through thick and thin -- and whether it's thick or thin -- it will be there for you.

I was a slow learner and didn't figure out I could make myself cum until I was 17. Man, was I backed up! At that age, the biggest concern was seeing where all the spunk went so you wouldn't miss any when you cleaned up. Of course, Mom knew you jerked off, but neither of you wanted to confront the reality that you knew that she knew that you did it.