hot and cold running lust

Our love life has been pretty much on a shelf for the past six months as she recovers from an accident. But every now and then -- when she's feeling better, when we're not consumed with her recovery, my work, the kid, the animals, the household -- we reconnect sexually and it is hot.

Knowing that we haven't lost that connection -- that it is just dormant -- makes it much easier to carry on.

A friend was recently traveling on business in a foreign city known for its red light district. His wife had allowed that if he visited the district and took advantage of the services offered there it wouldn't be totally unacceptable, but she didn't want to know about it. When he returned, she changed her tune and asked him point blank whether he had. His truthful answer, "No." Why? "I just love having sex with my wife."

I know how he feels.

sugasm #52

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sugasm #51

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more top 5s

Well, Ms. Smack, who incited me to write my top 5 and then posted hers (but it was really six) has received several great top 5 lists on her comments. Great reading!

sugasm #50

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going public

My wife showed me this item from the online advice column, Dear Margo, and I nearly plotzed:

DEAR MARGO:

About a year ago, my husband started writing and publishing stories in a local newspaper. He never told me or showed me the stories. I heard about them from friends and then read them. The stories are about sexual behavior and fantasies involving other women. He uses the first person for the main character. I do not feel comfortable with this and haven't wanted to have sex with him anymore. I asked him why he had to publish these stories. He said they were made up and he wouldn't write them anymore. I
trusted him, but recently found that he was doing it again. All his stories are about sex. Is he sick? I really can't have sex with him when I think of the stories. He thinks I am overreacting. He still wants sex with me. Should I take him to see a therapist?

--- TROUBLED

DEAR TRUB:

I would take him to a creative writing class to help him change the subject. First of all, I cannot imagine what kind of a local paper would publish stories about sexual fantasies. And second, I don't know what's up with a man who says he won't do it anymore and then continues. One would think that your Lysistrata maneuver would have stopped the stories, but perhaps you need to be explicit: No more amorous activities until the public flights of imagination cease. And if he is trying to send you a message, tell him you do not wish to read it in the newspaper.

--- MARGO, PRIVATELY

Given how easy it is to be anonymous on the internet, the fact that this guy is writing for locally published hardcopy and using his real name indicates to me THAT HE HAS A PROBLEM!

Probably part of his problem is that he is seething with sexuality and his wife is fairly buttoned up. But it's difficult to blame her for her reaction. This guy needs to be a blogger.

Margo, however, lacks imagination if she can't imagine what kind of local paper would publish sex stories. Not that there's one everywhere, but lots of cities have local sex tabloids. And I wonder about what this woman thinks of her friends who are reading those rags!

my top 5

In an earlier post, I said one of the reasons I buy Cosmopolitan on business trips is I enjoy reading what men really want in bed. I was being a bit facetious. For those not familiar, every issue of Cosmo has an article on this subject and most of them are rehashes of previous articles. This month's is "14 Sex Moves You've Never Heard Of," said title being true only if you've never read Cosmo before!

Anyhow, Ms Smack commented, "Perhaps you could write your 'top 5' requisites of what YOU Want." Hmmm. Well, OK.

1. Suck my nipples. Suck them a lot. Keep going. My main reason for having a threesome fantasy is so I can get them both sucked at the same time (oh, yeah, and then there are the four free hands).
2. Suck my cock. Suck it a lot. Take your time; I'm in no hurry for this to end.
3. Kiss me. A lot. Let's come back to that in between other stuff.
4. Play with my "taint" and around my ass, but I'm not into anal play per se... just get close and I will get close.
5. Squeeze my balls when you can tell I'm ready to cum and I will have an explosive orgasm.

I could keep going, but she said "5" so that's it. I have one more thing to add: Doing things that please you turns me on, so as much as I appreciate a hand job or blow job when you're not in the mood, what I really like best is doing unto you as you do unto me.

Maybe some of you readers and bloggers would like to contribute your top 5.

the next best thing to hotel sex...

...is hotel masturbation.

Alone in a room, away from home and family, it's just so much easier to conjure rich fantasies. Sometimes those fantasies are fueled by women I've seen in the lobby or elevator.

Plus there is no concern about someone walking in on me, or someone needing to use the bathroom while I am, ahem, busy, or hearing voices in the house that distract me from my mission. I can relax and proceed.

If I'm going strong, I might go 2-3 times a day during a hotel stay, while at home I'm a once-a-day guy at best.

I am very respectful and do not shoot seed on carpet, bedspread or other fibers. Remember that TV show a few years back where they used ultra-violet light to discern semen on the bedspreads in hotel rooms? Gross. Ever since then, when I check into a room I immediately pull the spread off the bed with as little direct contact as possible.

If I want added inspiration, I bring a magazine. No, not porn, not Playboy. I bring Cosmo. The sex stories are better than Penthouse Forum and there are lots of great fashion and underwear articles and ads. Plus I always enjoy reading what men really want in bed.