al's new year's gift to you

This is my favorite video of the year. For those who don't know Bob Saget, he is a stand-up comic best known for his role in the syrupy sitcom "Full House". For anyone who has only seen him in that show, this video will come as quite a shock. But for anyone who has seen "The Aristocrats", it won't.

al the elf

Click and I'll do my sex dance.

al's christmas gift to you

Andy Samberg & Justin Timberlake, Saturday Night Live, December 16, 2006

JWWFG

For an explanation, see Katie Schwartz's great post in Amy Guth's Chanukah Blog Tour.

And now, in truly American fashion, you can purchase a JWWFG magnet. Yes, put it on your fridge; amuse your friends and family!

hey, baby, baby, let me light your candles!

Who is this incredibly sexy woman? She's my latest fantasy Jewess, Le Güth.

Her name is Amy and she's written a book. And she has recruited 36 Jewish bloggers including me ("Sensu? Doesn't sound Jewish!") to answer some questions she's written, into which she has deftly laid a promo for her book.

Speaking of laid, I have a question for her, but that will be asked privately.

And now the envelope please:

1. Quick! You must turn a plate of latkes into an upscale gourmet delight (as if they aren't already?). What would you add to them to dress them up, flavor and/or garnish them?

A little cum topping. Beats sour cream.

2. What is the dumbest thing you've ever heard anyone say about Chanukah?

"I'm going to have a Chanukah Blog Tour."

3. What's the best possible use for olive oil?

Slather our naked bodies in it and wrestle.

4. Settle it once and for all. Latkes or hammentaschen? Which do you prefer? What about pitting the winner of that contest against sufganiyot?

Hammentaschen. They're triangle-shaped and I like licking the gooey center. Get it? The sufganiyot is to enjoy in the afterglow.

5. What's the best way to mix up a game of dreidel?

Play strip dreidel...and then when everyone's naked refer back to #3.

6. My novel, Three Fallen Women, shockingly enough, is about the lives of three women. Which three women would you like to have over this year for latkes and why?

Scarlett Johansson, Natalie Portman, Emmanuelle Chriqui. Do you really have to ask why? (and they're Jewish, of course). We'll do #5, then #3, then #1.


7. Other than Three Fallen Women (har har), what book do you think would make a great Chanukah gift this year? What book would you like to receive as a gift this year?

I would give The Amorous Busboy of Decatur Avenue by Robert Klein and would like to receive Judaism for Dummies.

8. What bloggers didn't participate in Chanukah Blog Tour 5767 and you think should have?

Dr. Ruth.

Le Güth responds to Al Sensu's proposition.

from the desk of al sensu

Schwartzie tagged me to display or describe the contents of my desk. Now, most of this is top secret, but I have prepared a photo essay showing selected items that have been declassified, or at least declasse:

1- Czech edition of Playboy purchased at Prague airport
2- salt & pepper shakers purchased at Lincoln's 10,000 Silver Dollar Bar in Haugan, Montana
3 - to do list

close-up of to do list

Czech Playmate profile

close-up of salt & pepper shakers

Publishers Weekly article on erotica

cute postcard

paper clips, post-it notes, stamps and jerk-off cream (for #3 on to do list)

sugasm #59

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sugasm #58

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #58? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you’re all set.

Thanks, Sugasmers, for putting me at the top of the list this week!

This Week’s Picks

6 weird things about me (http://hard-and-fast.blogspot.com)
“I’ve masturbated to completion more than 13,000 times.”

Polygamy, chastity, and sexual pragmatics (http://www.realadultsex.com)
“Lest you think the “sister-wives” could always take matters into their own or each other’s hands…”

What a woman wants (http://junohenry.wordpress.com)
“Tell me about the couple who would have you fuck the wife, and the husband watch.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
My Bare Lady (http://sugarbank.com)

Editors’ Choice
Don’t you dare cum yet (http://bratmaster.co.uk)

Sponsored Link
G-Spot Orgasm Survey Take the G-spot survey and win one of two £100 LoveHoney sex toy shopping sprees

Sex News & Reviews
Call for Xmas Cocks and Cunts! ( http://shayssexcolumn.blogspot.com)
Discovering New Desires with Naughty Game Play (http://www.taratainton.com )

BDSM and Fetish
Fiction: Timothy and the Pony Girls of the Night ( http://erotiterrorist.blogspot.com)
Happy HNT - Sexy candy cane panties ( http://darkside-journey.blogspot.com )
My imminent chastisement ( http://battletofindmyself.blogspot.com )
The Truth - Confessions of a sissy cock sucker ( http://www.caramelvixen.com/vixen-blog)

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Blowjob Monday ( http://dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com)
Mile High Club ( http://wanklog.blogspot.com)
No Words ( http://bigboysa.blogspot.com)
Remembering summer, remembering lust (http://justsexdrugsandrocknroll.blogspot.com)
Sassy Claus (http://nocloudnine.blogspot.com)
Under the Table (http://drtycplinva.blogspot.com)

NSFW Pics (& videos)
Alison Angel - Baywatch ( http://hotboxbabe.thumblogger.com)
Crystal Klein Nude ( http://eroticandy.blogspot.com/)
Fully Nekkid In The Shower HNT (http://stilettodiaries.blogspot.com)
Katie’s sexy striptease ( http://myhotbox.blogspot.com)
Tiffaney 2 ( http://facialsluts.ilovejulienight.com)

Sex & Politics
Anti-Anti-Pornography, Part IV: “Da Vinci Code” is Not Pornography ( http://www.teen-porn-site.com/blog)
The Return of Segregation and Silicone (http://www.tarasnaughtyshop.com )

Sexy Humor
Ask Art: The Sexual Misadvice Column ( http://secretbrain.blogspot.com )

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Bad Santas! ( http://www.1trackmind.com)
Fellatio, Round 4 ( http://www.betweensheets.net)

got testosterone?

So my doctor told me today my testosterone level is too low. He said it's important to have the correct level for my health.

This explains why I only need to jerk off 5 times a week instead of 10 as I used to.

I told my wife I would be taking testosterone supplements. Let's just say she is scared.

My six inch best friend is happy as hell.

I may be growing old, but don't plan to do it gracefully.

sugasm #57

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6 weird things about me

And yet another challenging meme. This time I was tagged by the lovely Megan, and this one comes with rules:

1. Each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you”.

2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly.

3. At the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

So here are my 6:

1. I’ve tried on multiple occasions to imagine the idea of me sucking another man’s cock. Just doesn’t work for me. Guess I’m too straight. I think the reason it intrigues me is that I love cum shots; could watch them on pornos all day. Now, I have a friend who would be horrified to read this. He doesn’t even want to look at porn if it’s going to show a naked man. I understand why some women love the feeling of hot cum shooting into their mouths, but it’s not for me (in the receiving position).
   
2. I’m taking supplements so I’ll produce more semen. It’s working. I’ve been unhappy with the decrease in semen production as I get older.
   
3. I’ve masturbated to completion more than 13,000 times. No, I don’t keep count, but I wanked at least daily from ages 17 to 52, so do the math. I’ve missed an occasional day since then. Damn, I’m slowing down. But put me in a hotel on a business trip with the right fantasies, and I can rub off as many as 3 in a day. Pretty good for an old guy.
   
4. I didn’t know about masturbation, or at least what it really was and how to do it, until I was 17. Been making up for lost time since then.
   
5. The first time I ever orgasmed, it was during a makeout session when I was 16 (remember, this is pre-wanking), and I don’t remember feeling anything until I realized my briefs were wet and sticky.
   
6. Since age 16 I have spent a total of 6 months not in a steady relationship or marriage. Not specifically coinciding with those periods, I have lived alone for less than 6 months during my life.

And now for the tags:

Katie - Don - Eva - Jazz - Bella - NV