Saturday, July 14, 2007

can you can can?

I've written about a somewhat depressing night in a strip club in Michigan where the ladies wrestled in Spaghetti-Os.

Another less-than-erotic evening in a midwestern strip club occurred in Milwaukee back in the 80s. I was alone for the evening, staying downtown, and happened upon a club.

It was a fairly dark place with a very large stage that was evidently where all the action was to be. I sat at the stage and the DJ announced the appearance of Morgana, The Can Crusher.

I couldn't imagine what this meant. Out she came. I don't know if she was the same Morgana as the Kissing Bandit of baseball fame, but let's just say she had an outsized rack. It was freak show ginormous, not "boy I like big tits" large.

Guys were ordering cans of Milwaukee's best. Upon completion of the 12 ounces, they would put the can on the stage with a dollar.

Morgana would saunter over, stick the buck in her g-string, put the can between her breasts, where it remained.

She then shrugged her shoulders with arms at her side, thus forcing her breasts together. This would crush the beer can flat as a pancake.


That was the act. Guys cheered. I watched her do it a few times, then returned to my hotel room. As opposed to a good night at a strip club, nothing I had seen provided inspiration for a wank session.


Fusion said...

What? you don't get turned on by women who crush beer cans with their breasts?

hmmm, imagine that ;)

Chris said...

Oh wow. I have to say I'm not surprised that that happened in WI. I've been to WI many, many times.

Amy Guth said...

I ended up in a strip club in the southwest once and saw a stripper spray herself with silly string, then become so disoriented that she bounced off the mirror on the back wall. Sadly hilarious.

Vixen said...

The odd thing is somebody had to come up with that idea and that somebody was probably turned on by it.

Anonymous said...

I thought that was the most ridiculous thing I'd ever read till I read Amy Guth's comment, and now I'm crying with laughter.

And damn, you, Al, I can't say: Wow! That was hot!

Al Sensu said...

Guth has one-upped me!

Sorry, Z, I'll try to do better.

Tom Paine said...

Reminds me of the smoking vagina in the first "Emmanuelle" movie. Begs the question, of course, as to why men would pay to watch it....

Mandy said...

In Quebec, I saw a feature dancer years ago whose shtick was that she came out dressed like Ernie. From Sesame Street. Yes, wearing a character costume complete with oversize head. Ernie stripped a little - he's not Jewish, evidently - and then she got out of the costume and into a kiddie pool, where she interpreted "Rubber Duckie, you're the one."

Truly a night that will live forever in my heart. Or at least seared into my retinas.

Al Sensu said...

That is so wrong.

Anonymous said...

Is that for real? I mean, Spaghetti-Os and crushing cans? What's happened to the strip clubs for them to become circus acts?

Maybe we should all just stick to porn! LOL

~Lauren Vaughn