Saturday, February 28, 2009

Advice: Can't Cum During Intercourse

Q:
I'm a 23 year old male. Just got engaged. I'm with the love of my life, and we have a pretty healthy sexual relationship. We have a lot of intercourse when I'm home (I’m an over the road truck driver). When we're having sex I can't cum without jerking myself off to finish. We've tried a lot of things to try to build up the orgasm in me, but nothing seems to work. We've tried lube, candles, porn. But at the end it still comes down to me jacking off in order for me to cum. Is there something wrong with me? Does this happen to a lot of guys? I just want to be able to build up my orgasm and have it without having to pull out of my fiance an jack off. I want to be able to stay in her an build up an for us to cum together for once instead of her cumming, and then I have to pull out an jack off. Please help!


A:
You may or may not have a physiological problem, so my first advice is to see a doctor. You don't say whether you've had sexual relationships before and whether this was an issue if you did.

You may just not be getting the exact stimulation you need from intercourse with your fiance, and it could be attributable to fit, to the amount or lack of natural lubrication or any number of things. One thing I can definitely recommend is that you make love is a position where she can reach your testicles.

For some guys, direct stimulation of the balls is what will bring them over the top. Just give her direction so that what she does is pleasurable for you.

Until you find a solution, try to relax about this. Make sure she's involved in bringing you off after you pull out.  Even if you want to or need to do the handwork, she should not be an idle observor. She can be kissing you and touching your other erotic zones, including your testicles. If sexy/dirty talk helps you, encourage her to do that too. Good luck!

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