Saturday, October 25, 2008

Advice: I Lost My FWB

Q:
Long story short, I recently lost a female best friend (I'm male). We lost our virginity to each other and since then things went downhill, and now she's living with her "fiance" and doesn't want to talk to me any more. I hate being alone while thinking about whatever they're doing, and I'm extremely afraid of approaching girls.

Because I'm not yet 21, I can't go to bars and meet girls there, and I live in the middle of the country where there aren't many social situations. Do you have any advice on where someone who can't get into a bar can meet girls (either for a relationship or casual flings), and how can I get her off my mind?

A:
That will teach you to fuck your friends! Seriously, there are special situations where people can be real friends, but not romantically involved, have sex, and stay friends. But the odds are against it. "Friends with benefits" situations that work are generally people who are really getting together to have sex, and they happen to like each other. But they're not true friends.

You are missing the A-number one place to hook up in Middle America: Church. Doesn't matter what denomination, and the more fire-and-brimstone the better. Those people are repressed and probably quite horny. And the girls your age are likely there to please their parents and are itching to step out.

If you're looking for a real relationship, then choose a church you can abide by, even if you're not a believer. And you don't have to go to services. Join a youth group or one of the many do-gooder activities they have.

If there are enough Jews in your area to have a Synagogue, go there. I can tell you from personal experience, we welcome everyone, and Jewish girls are loose.

While you're waiting for something new to percolate, the best way to get the old friend and her fiance off your mind is to watch lots of youporn.com and redtube.com and masturbate at least twice a day. There won't be much left to think about.

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