Advice: The Cuckold Fantasy Again!

Q:
Over the last couple of years I have been obsessing about imagining my wife with another man. We have never really considered it and will probably never do it but I always fantasize about it. We even incorporate it into our lovemaking. Kind of like the scene from the movie Sideways. She plays along with it and makes up stories about being with other men while I'm at work and so on. She has been a good sport about it.
When alone I sometimes even masturbate to the thought of it. I never used to do this, it would have never crossed my mind. I can't explain why that is. But, it is probably my strongest fantasy arousal. Is this normal? What does it mean? Please help. I am starting to worry.

A:
People always want to know "is this normal." Please don't worry about normal. There is no normal.

At this point you haven't complicated matters by wanting to act on the fantasy. There would be nothing wrong with it per se, but it would be playing with fire.

If your wife is OK with this as she seems to be (actually she may be loving it), just enjoy the fantasy.

Advice: Joe College Wants to Know...

Q:
I'm currently a standard, everyday 19 year old living at college. To get it off my chest right now, I'm still a virgin. That fact does not particularly bother me, because I abhor the standard college rituals of getting drunk per weekend and then have sex with some random person you were hitting on afterwards. I would so much rather be actually able to remember it!

Problem is, over the last couple of months, I've become closer and closer with several women I know. I haven't really "dated" in a year or two, and my previous relationships ended without much in the way of intimacy at all. I have considered asking them out on a night date, and one hinted at me staying over her dorm room...I'm not assuming, but if she offers I'll be a little intimidated.

Over the last couple of weeks, I've occasionally had a problem of cumming without reaching anything nearly close to what I remember as an orgasm when I masterbate. It's like I can't keep my mind off of finishing and I lose it physically before that mental feel-good buzz sets in. I'm utterly terrified that when I finally do get to that special moment, something won't work or I may experience problems like that. I also don't want my partner to think it was their fault. To make matters worse, I'm not really sure if I have too much pubic hair or not. I've tried to consider whether or not a girl would be turned off due to it or not, but I never worked up the courage to speak to any friends about what they do to control it. Shave it? It kind of worries me.

A:
Your fears are natural. As such, I think you'd be best trying to get into a dating situation where the possibility of sex is not so immediate, so that you really start to know the girl and begin forming emotional intimacy. That way, when you start moving toward a sexual relationship, you can first talk honestly about your desires and fears. She may have them too. And it's good to mutually lower expectations so you can just experience and learn. Rather than just "going for it" progress toward having sex, just like we did in olden days.

As to the pubic hair thing, all I know is that the trend among younger folks is to either shaving or trimming, but it's not for everyone. Again, if you develop a real relationship, it's something you can talk about, but I wouldn't do anything about it now. Some people still prefer the natural look.

Advice: What they don't tell you when you're young

Q:
I am older and have a small amount of ejaculate when I cum. Is there a drug or preparation which will increase the amount? Is there an exercise to accomplish the same thing?

We have sex every week but my ejaculations are much less satisfying.

A:
Ah, an age old problem, or old age I guess. I've addressed this before.

I wish I understood why this matters to us. My climaxes feel better than they did when I was younger, and there is no direct relationship to orgasmic intensity and ejaculation.

Try some of the recommended supplements, but otherwise, just relax, close your eyes and enjoy the ride.

Advice: Getting Out

Q:
How 2 get it on with a friend w/o outing yourself as being gay if he isn't into it.

A:
Tough one. Yet another good reason to not be in the closet. I can't think of a way to approach this without outing yourself. If he's a real friend, tell him the truth about yourself and see what happens. Then you can decide whether to let him know you're interested in more than friendship.

Advice: Why has our sex life changed?

Q:
My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now, but this past year we decided to move in together. At first the sex was great and we did it all the time. But now he barely ever wants sex. He does ask for blowjobs alot, however is never willing to reciprocate. How can I make him interested in sex again??

A:
You need to talk to him about what's going on, or in this case what's not going on. Guys don't like to talk, but it's necessary in this case.

He may be distracted by problems at work, he may not be attracted to you anymore, he may be having an affair, he may regret moving in with you. Since he's still horny, it's probably not a medical thing.

You can't make him be interested in sex again, but perhaps you can help him to. Or at least find out why he's changed.

If he won't open up, next time he asks for e BJ, say "no" but you'd love to have sex with him. If he turns that down, that doesn't tell you why he's changed, but it does tell you just what you're left with.

Advice: Can I get a Squirt?

Q:
how do u get a lady to produce the golden showers????

A:
I think you have your terminology wrong. Golden shower refers to urination, which is easy for anyone to do, if you're into that kind of thing.

I think you're talking about female ejaculation. It's kinda more up to her than you. If you're with someone who wants to learn how to do it -- and it doesn't work for everyone -- Google "female ejaculation" and you'll find lots on the subject. But I think you've just been watching too much YouPorn.

Advice: She's Never Climaxed

Q:
Here is my problem. Me and my girlfriend have been sexually active since we started dating about a year ago. Also she has never ever had an orgasm, not with me or anyone, not even with herself. I have tried so hard to give her the pleasure she gives me but I just seem to fall short. I personally think that I am to blame, my penis is kind of short and I always orgasm to quickly. What should I do?

A:
Considering she has never orgasmed, you're taking a lot on yourself. Of course it's not your fault. She needs to learn how to orgasm and there are plenty of resources on the internet. As well, she may need some specialized therapy. And there can always be a physiological cause.

Get her to Google "learning how to orgasm" and she'll find a wealth of articles and book suggestions.

My question to you is whether she is very frustrated when you have sex, or seems to be enjoying it and just doesn't climax? My advice is for you not to concentrate on her orgasm until she learns about specific exercises you can help her with, and just concentrate on giving her sensual pleasure. Everyone knows how to receive that. And if you both relax into it, who knows, something good may happen.

Advice: How Dry I Am, How Wet I'll Be

Q:
I have been married with my husband for 9 years. My problem is that I can only orgasm once during intercourse, which I know is okay considering that not all can have it and must fake it. But the thing is, once I do cum, I start to get dry which could get quite painful since my husband hasn't cum yet and won't for quite sometime. And most often, I cum very early during sex. I don't know what to do? Please help.

A:
Try stopping the intercourse for a moment and lubing up. There are plenty of products on the market available at the drugstore or online you can try. I personally like Slippery Stuff. That should make it more comfortable for you and actually better for him. Might even make him cum faster.

If that doesn't work, try to convince him to cum some other way. Like in all porn, the finish is through some combination of hand and mouth work. You could star in your own porn fantasy!

Also, some other position might be better. But in any case, you need lubrication and if it doesn't come naturally, that why God made artificial lubes.

Sin Chew Indeed!

A SECRETARY accidentally bit off the penis of her employer while giving him oral sex in a car.

Sin Chew Daily and China Press reported yesterday that while the 30-year-old woman was performing oral sex on the man, the car was hit by a reversing van.

The impact of the crash, China Press reported, caused the woman to bite off her lover’s organ.

The daily reported that the incident occurred in a Singapore park where the couple met after work.

To make matters worse for the woman, her husband had sent a private investigator to spy on her after suspecting that she was being unfaithful.

The investigator said he had followed the woman and her boss to the park.

“On reaching the park, they did not alight from the car. Not long after, the car started to shake violently.

After the car was hit by the van, there was a loud scream from the woman whose mouth was covered with blood,” he said.

The woman later followed her lover to the hospital with part of the sexual organ.

The investigator, who called an ambulance to send the man to hospital, said that this was the first time he had encountered such an incident.

Sugasm #164

HNT courtesy of Thursdays Child Has Far To Go.

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #165? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks

Confessional: Breaking the Girl

“And that’s why I’ll love it, that’s what will fuel me to dig deeper.”

Does Art imitate Life or Life Art?

“We were experimental and conventional and some times both in the same round of sex. ”

It burns…

“And this is no sweet kissing”

Sugasm Editor

Sex Work And Honesty: Fetish Fridays: Teabagging

Editor’s Choice

Light Me Up Right

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Sex News, Reviews, and Interviews

Champagne Giveaway: Lesbian Hospital 2 from Girlfriends Films

O’my Caramel Lubricant

Sex Advice

Advice: I Can’t Cum in There

Delayed Ejaculation - The Flip Side of Premature Ejaculation

Gettin’ Busy Goin’ Green

How to Get the Best Orgasm

BDSM & Fetish

Annie Wersching: I’d Beat

Cousins in pigtails

Get painfull paddle over the table

Out of the Past, Toward the Future

The Slit Dream

Submission and Orgasms

Sex Humor

Question Time!

Singing disco and squealing with (good) pain

Erotic Writing and Experiences

The Canvas

Diary of a Futa - Marny’s Journal

Fairy Time

The Games We Play

I Love His Cock

Kiev kink

Love letter to a memory.

Ms. Robinson

My slutty little girl.

The Overnight. Finale (Dildos)

Perks of the Job

Silence

Three

A Three Way with Adonis

Sex & Politics

The FatGirl Pervert Rants.

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Brothers… and Sisters

For The Single Male

My Little Secrets or Things I Don’t Tell the Boys

A quick note on pets.

She Got-I Got

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Angel in the midst

Croatia Football Babe - Body Painting

Lysa is au natural

New Cuckold MP3

Pure Pleasure

Vulnerable HNT

Wild animal set free

Advice: Is she diddling herself with thoughts of me?

Q:
Basically what I’m asking is: you know how guys see a girl “like at school, work, etc” and masturbate thinking about having sex with them!? Just wondering if women do the same (masturbate in private about a co-worker they see everyday, a boy at school, etc? If I would like to “think” that one does is there anyway to know? Like asking a question? Seeing a reaction? Was just always curious. Like could a girl at work be masturbating off thinking about me while in private?

A:
It certainly happens, but from the women I've known that I could talk about such stuff with, and from what I've read, women are somewhat less likely to sexually fantasize about people they know than men are. I think they are more likely than men to fantasize about celebrities. Other than that, like us, they may fantasize about someone they make up or saw on the street or in the subway.

And I understand your curiosity. Wouldn't it be interesting to know if someone was masturbating to visions of you?