Sunday, May 24, 2009

Advice: Joe College Wants to Know...

I'm currently a standard, everyday 19 year old living at college. To get it off my chest right now, I'm still a virgin. That fact does not particularly bother me, because I abhor the standard college rituals of getting drunk per weekend and then have sex with some random person you were hitting on afterwards. I would so much rather be actually able to remember it!

Problem is, over the last couple of months, I've become closer and closer with several women I know. I haven't really "dated" in a year or two, and my previous relationships ended without much in the way of intimacy at all. I have considered asking them out on a night date, and one hinted at me staying over her dorm room...I'm not assuming, but if she offers I'll be a little intimidated.

Over the last couple of weeks, I've occasionally had a problem of cumming without reaching anything nearly close to what I remember as an orgasm when I masterbate. It's like I can't keep my mind off of finishing and I lose it physically before that mental feel-good buzz sets in. I'm utterly terrified that when I finally do get to that special moment, something won't work or I may experience problems like that. I also don't want my partner to think it was their fault. To make matters worse, I'm not really sure if I have too much pubic hair or not. I've tried to consider whether or not a girl would be turned off due to it or not, but I never worked up the courage to speak to any friends about what they do to control it. Shave it? It kind of worries me.

Your fears are natural. As such, I think you'd be best trying to get into a dating situation where the possibility of sex is not so immediate, so that you really start to know the girl and begin forming emotional intimacy. That way, when you start moving toward a sexual relationship, you can first talk honestly about your desires and fears. She may have them too. And it's good to mutually lower expectations so you can just experience and learn. Rather than just "going for it" progress toward having sex, just like we did in olden days.

As to the pubic hair thing, all I know is that the trend among younger folks is to either shaving or trimming, but it's not for everyone. Again, if you develop a real relationship, it's something you can talk about, but I wouldn't do anything about it now. Some people still prefer the natural look.

No comments: