Sunday, April 12, 2009

Advice: Am I a Sex Addict?

Q:
I think I'm a sex addict. I'd be happy going for hours, several times a day, or all day long. I can have multiple orgasms and all that, my gf usually has several orgasms. What can I do to get my gf's libido up? She doesn't want to get on top, she says because she's insecure, and I think partly because she doesn't want to do the work, and she doesn't want to go as long as me.

Everything else is good . .

Do I need to make her eat better and work out so she has more energy (what I've read) or is it something else?

A:
I wouldn't characterize what you describe as sex addition, but you do have a very strong libido.

It sounds like you have an active sex life and your girlfriend climaxes well, so I wouldn't say she has a weak libido. You are just mismatched.

If she wants to be more sexually active, then exercise, diet and supplements are all worth looking into, and you will probably find some good web sites that specifically address female libido.  But I stress that nothing you've said indicates to me she has an underactive libido. If she's happy where she is I would suggest, like many couples, you need to find a compromise.

That compromise might include you masturbating more often. Or her helping you masturbate sometimes. Or her agreeing to sex even though she wasn't exactly in the mood -- sometimes getting started will get a partner in the mood.

This is all a separate issue from her reluctance to be on top. Again, you can only encourage her here. Have you told her that while she may feel insecure, you desire this because she looks great and seeing her on top turns you on? If she's really a limp fish in bed, then you need to address that.

But I think you may just have too much sexual and general energy compared to her. If she is really lacking energy, then joining a health club or engaging in some kind of workout on a regular basis is recommended without regard to your sex life. And certainly diet can be a factor.

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