Advice: Threesome Wish

Q:
Am i wrong for wanting to have sex with a girl and my future husband.

A:
Nothing wrong with it. And I'd like to find the guy who would object to this.

But if you are really thinking of doing it, rather than just having it as a fantasy, know that it is playing with fire. Things can go wrong. Like he doesn't like seeing you have sex with another girl as much as he thought he would. Or you don't want a full 3-some, where he does it with the other. Or he does, but then you regret it. On the other hand, lots of folks do this and everyone's happy.

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

Advice: Is porn more important than me?

Q:
OK so i met a girl at a bar one night i got her number we had sex that morning.
we hit it off pretty good going camping and out to bars all the time on weekends.
we talked about love and kids and moving out together (she stayed in the basement of grandma's kinda like her own place she paid rent) and i stayed there for most of the almost 6 months we were together.

well she found out i was looking up porn on her computer she was angry asked me not to do it on her computer. i said OK and promised not to do it again and so she found out i did again happened 4 times to b exact. the third time was her b-day and we broke up and she took me back but said if i did it again we were done.

obviously i did it again and now she will hardly talk to me been 3 months since it happened. i cant sleep, eat, or think right. we argued for quite awhile and finally she said it wasn't love it was her just wanting to party and me just wanting to fuck.
well what do i do?

i know we were right for each other but she cant get over that.please please help me

A:
Hey buddy, I have no issues with porn, but she did. And it was her computer. If you wouldn't stop, obviously the porn was more important to you than she was.

I don't believe what she told you however, because if this relationship was just about partying she wouldn't be so put out about the porn. She'd be annoyed for sure, and so would I if you kept doing something on my property I asked you not to.

I think first you need to address your porn addiction, because that's what it is. You may want to try therapy.

Then you can try going back to her and tell her that you've worked on your problem.

Advice: They put sex back in the closet

Q:
My wife and I have a very active sex life. We have never had any problems getting the job done, even with 5 kids! We tend to go out on "dates" and retreat to a hotel room as a "vacation" once in a while. When we cant do that, we resort to the "Minute man sex" in the closet!! We've ALWAYS made time for sex whether it is romantic or wham bam thank you ma'm. My question is:

We have watched our share of videos. (Porn). And lately, we have watched videos with woman coming to a squirting orgasm. I have to tell you, my wife has a very very sensitive clit. All you have to do is blow on it and shes writhing! She has never had a squirting orgasm and Ive only made one woman squirt in my life. Is there something I could do to help her squirt or is it just one of those things that may or may not happen? Would LOVE to be able to make her do that if I could.

A:
Congrats on keeping the passion alive!

Squirting ability varies among women, and my guess is in real life it's less common than in porn. As I wrote recently, Google "female ejaculation" and you'll find lots on the subject.

Advice: More Trouble Cumming

Q:
I am going through a divorce where she left me for another woman stating that we got married too young. We were married for 29 years. In that time we had a very inadequate sex life due to her issues with weight. My question is that now I have a girlfriend and I really please her. She can' believe That I can keep it
hard for hours and can go all weekend. The problem is that I don't cum and this has never been a problem before. I do ejaculate when I masturbate however. Any suggestions?

A:
You're not alone. Click on the tag below or on the sidebar for "trouble cumming" and you'll see how I've responded to others with this issue.

Advice: Aunt Fantasies

Q:
I live with my aunt who is very seductive with out actually doing anything , I can not get aroused when she is not around and it is torture , she will be home soon and Im considering what would happen if she completed my orgasm with either her hands or her gorgeous feet . Im sure she would want me too not be in pain , and im just curious . I think it will get it out of my system ,plus I am the not approaching the situation , Maybe you can suggest a way to start , I am also completely ok with her watching me massage it while she curls her toes , I might not have m,uch time left on this earth , Id like a pleasureable expierience , also why doesnt it get hard when she is not around ?

A:
You ought to get together with the girl who had a crush on her uncle.

You don't say anything about how old you are and how old your aunt is or why you are living with her. My advice is similar as to that girl: fantasize if you must, butlook elsewhere.

Advice: Gotta Love Giving Head

Q:
Is it just me, or is there a serious double standard surrounding fellatio/cunnilingus? Giving guys head has become so standard that any girl who doesn't do it is considered a repressed prude - which does make sense. But it seems to me that guys who don't go down on girls are treated much more kindly. And if they do, they consider it some kind of freaking accomplishment, rather than the equal counterpart to fellatio. Bullshit reasons such as "surface area" and the penis being "more aesthetically pleasing" than the vagina are of course given.

I have had guys tell me that they enjoy giving me head because it gives me pleasure, but that they don't enjoy it physically. To me this seems awful, basically the equivalent of saying "Well, I'll do this thing because I'm SUCH an amazing lover, but in actual fact your cunt disgusts me." A good lover must love all of my body; if anything, he should love my cunt MORE than anything else. When I am getting head, I want to know he loves the way my cunt smells, tastes and feels, that he would do it just for the sake of how it feels to him. This grudging shit is not cool.

Are you with me? I hope one day women's bodies may be seen as the beautiful miracles that they are. It is time for some freaking liberation!

A:
I'm with you 100%.

Guys, pay attention.

Advice: The Cuckold Fantasy Again!

Q:
Over the last couple of years I have been obsessing about imagining my wife with another man. We have never really considered it and will probably never do it but I always fantasize about it. We even incorporate it into our lovemaking. Kind of like the scene from the movie Sideways. She plays along with it and makes up stories about being with other men while I'm at work and so on. She has been a good sport about it.
When alone I sometimes even masturbate to the thought of it. I never used to do this, it would have never crossed my mind. I can't explain why that is. But, it is probably my strongest fantasy arousal. Is this normal? What does it mean? Please help. I am starting to worry.

A:
People always want to know "is this normal." Please don't worry about normal. There is no normal.

At this point you haven't complicated matters by wanting to act on the fantasy. There would be nothing wrong with it per se, but it would be playing with fire.

If your wife is OK with this as she seems to be (actually she may be loving it), just enjoy the fantasy.

Advice: Joe College Wants to Know...

Q:
I'm currently a standard, everyday 19 year old living at college. To get it off my chest right now, I'm still a virgin. That fact does not particularly bother me, because I abhor the standard college rituals of getting drunk per weekend and then have sex with some random person you were hitting on afterwards. I would so much rather be actually able to remember it!

Problem is, over the last couple of months, I've become closer and closer with several women I know. I haven't really "dated" in a year or two, and my previous relationships ended without much in the way of intimacy at all. I have considered asking them out on a night date, and one hinted at me staying over her dorm room...I'm not assuming, but if she offers I'll be a little intimidated.

Over the last couple of weeks, I've occasionally had a problem of cumming without reaching anything nearly close to what I remember as an orgasm when I masterbate. It's like I can't keep my mind off of finishing and I lose it physically before that mental feel-good buzz sets in. I'm utterly terrified that when I finally do get to that special moment, something won't work or I may experience problems like that. I also don't want my partner to think it was their fault. To make matters worse, I'm not really sure if I have too much pubic hair or not. I've tried to consider whether or not a girl would be turned off due to it or not, but I never worked up the courage to speak to any friends about what they do to control it. Shave it? It kind of worries me.

A:
Your fears are natural. As such, I think you'd be best trying to get into a dating situation where the possibility of sex is not so immediate, so that you really start to know the girl and begin forming emotional intimacy. That way, when you start moving toward a sexual relationship, you can first talk honestly about your desires and fears. She may have them too. And it's good to mutually lower expectations so you can just experience and learn. Rather than just "going for it" progress toward having sex, just like we did in olden days.

As to the pubic hair thing, all I know is that the trend among younger folks is to either shaving or trimming, but it's not for everyone. Again, if you develop a real relationship, it's something you can talk about, but I wouldn't do anything about it now. Some people still prefer the natural look.