Advice: I Fucked His Best Friend

Q:
Hi, I'm married for 3 years to my husband but I got the hots for his best friend and I just had sex with him and I enjoyed it. I don't know what to do because now I kind of gotten used to want his best friend. Please, I need an advice!

A:
Well, you'll just have to get unused to it.

I'm not much of a moralist when it comes to sex outside of marriage, but this is where I draw a line. That ain't much of a best friend your husband has.

Desire is desire and it's hard to say "no" but sometimes it has to be done. You should not have offered yourself to him and he absolutely should not have accepted.

If he were a real friend he would have made you feel bad enough about wanting to step out on your man that you wouldn't have done it again.

OK, so here we are. You fucked him and you want to again. And it seems he'll certainly take you up on it again.

You should do your best to avoid being anywhere near this man, but you must not arouse your husband's suspicions. Oh, and you must never ever tell your husband what happened. If you feel guilty, that's your price to pay.

If you don't feel guilty, you need to re-examine this marriage.

Advice: Sexually Frustrated Wife

Q:
I am 21 years old and my husband is 23. We have been married for 3 years and have 2 kids. Before the kids came along my husband and I had an amazing sex life. Nothing was off limits and things were great.

Things are nowhere near that now. Now he gets me in the mood and when it seems I'm just getting started, he cums. Sex lasts 10 minutes with 8 being foreplay. I can't stand it. He says he's just so tired from working that he can't hold out and keep going. I always end up disappointed and upset with him and still yearning to have an orgasm. So I masturbate after he goes to sleep.

I don't know what to do! This is ridiculous. What do I do to get him to have sex longer? We've tried different positions to see if that prolongs sex but it just results in an extra minute or so. I'm at the end of my rope. What can I do if there IS anything I can do? Please help!

A:
I guess he's getting what he wants. Have you both not figured out there are other ways to make you happy? Truth is, many if not most women don't orgasm from intercourse even when it lasts.

The first thing you need to do is make it clear to your husband that you need to be satisfied. And that when you are satisfied, he will be rewarded. Yes he works hard but he can rise to the occasion, and you'll make it worth his while with stimulation and teasing along the way, and no pressure once you get to the screwing.

He may need to do some more work before he gets his. Though I can hardly think of it as work. But work together to find ways to stimulate you before intercourse that bring your pleasure and an orgasm -- manual stimulation, cunnilingus, toys or vibrators. So it's not just foreplay, it's your play. You should certainly be pleasuring him as part of this time.

But the idea is that you cum first. Then he gets to fuck and cum too, however quickly he wants.

It's tough to maintain that sexual spark once you have kids, and it's usually the woman that doesn't want sex as much. Since you still have the desire, make some extra effort to insert flirtation and teasing into your lives, even when it won't lead to sex right then, even with the kids around. It will build desire in him and help him remember what you had before there were kids. Then hopefully he'll be more responsive to your needs.

Advice: I Can't Come II

Q:
I really need your help. I'm not allowed to by sex toys and I just can't cum!!! I tried rubbing it really hard but I get scared and have to stop...by the way i am 18 ... PLEASE HELP! A toothbrush doesn't work either. I really want to cum! I don't have a boyfriend to help me and my parents hate sex by the way. help...

A:
Rubbing it really hard probably isn't the best way to get there. I can tell you're frustrated, but you're going to need to be calm. And relaxed. And gentle with yourself.

First, go to a drugstore and buy a lubricant such as K-Y Warming Liquid. Choose a time when you have plenty of time and aren't worried about parentus interruptus.

Get warm and cozy and naked in your bed. Don't go right for it. Take some time to appreciate how your hands feel touching yourself all over your body. Lightly brush against your nipples. If that feels good, try pinching them a little, perhaps licking your fingers and touching them to your nipples.

As you begin to get excited then, use some of the lube and start rubbing around your clitoris. Touch yourself all over your genital area. If you like having your nipples stimulated keep one hand there and the other below.

Relax into your desire. Don't go fast. Don't go hard. At least not yet. Imagine a very desirable man is with you sucking your nipples, then licking your clit, and then entering you. Imagine him fucking you and you responding.

Let your instincts take over and hopefully you'll find success.

Erotomania

I just finished reading Erotomania: A Romance by Francis Levy.

I'm a slow reader, so it took me a few weeks to get through it. During much of that time I was intensely aroused. Then I was grossed out, but intrigued. Then I never wanted to eat again.

This novel is scorchingly hot, screamingly funny and seriously disturbing.

The Village Voice had it right when it headlined its review "Read Book, Wash Hands".

The story begins with a couple who have sex daily, are anonymous to each other, and cum so hard they suffer temporary amnesia each time.

Their relationship progresses (?) from there.

It's a hell of a great read.

Advice: Licking Your Own Lollipop

Q:
hi there long time reader first time writer. I have been wanting to try and give myself oral pleasure for a while. after a few min of trying my bk hurts and i have to rest. I am 26/m i have wanted to taste myself for quite some time. Can u help me and tell me some easy tricks to help me with my desire/problem?

A:
I assume this is a man writing. They key to success is the right combination of flexibility and penis length.

There are several positions to try, all easily found on the internet by searching "autofellatio".

I recommend you take up yoga with at least weekly classes and a daily at-home practice. It will teach you to stretch in new and effective ways.

Advice: HIV & Oral Stuff

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Advice: Lasting Longer

Q:
I am Mirthula 25 yrs old girl from India. Please give tips for prolonged erection and long time intercourse. My partner mostly cum very fast and sometimes not able to maintain erection for a long time. Please advice

A:
There are a number of techniques that you can try. One is called "stop-start". If your partner can identify the moment before he reaches a point of no return, you should both stop moving until the urge subsides, then start again, then stop again several times. One benefit is that for some men, their orgasm when they finally have it is much stronger. You might even test this method as a way of giving him a hand job, where you are more in control. If you can learn the signs of him getting close, you can not only stop moving, but apply pressure to the head of his penis for a while. When he relaxes a bit, start over.

Also, if when you begin intercourse he is thrusting rapidly, an idea is to just slow it down. Calm, slow movement enhance the sensuality and should make the experience last longer.

Assuming your partner is young like you are, he can probably regain an erection fairly soon after ejaculating. Why not give him a hand or blow job first and then move to intercourse for a second round. If he is a generous lover, he should return the favor. He can go down on you while he's waiting to get his hard-on back. Not that you want to get into counting orgasms, but it's the least he can do!

One more technique he can try: as he's getting close to orgasm he should squeeze his pelvic floor muscles. It's the same action he'd use to stop urinating. Exercising those muscles, often called Kegels, has many benefits.

Advice: Yes You Can... Catch Something

Q:
Now that i am old enough i have been experimenting with lots of different things. One of the things i have just been trying is oral sex... and i must admit that i love it. About a month ago a friend took me to an adult theater. Oh my god! To make a long story short, i ending up sucking off 3 guys in the back of the theater and swallowing their sperm. Now i go every chance i get and always end up with several loads of sperm in my belly, i am addicted. Of course i am worried about what could happen. my question is: do i have to be worried about AIDS or other STDs? What is your advise ? thankyou.

A:
The simple answer is that yes, you are at risk for acquiring HIV or certain other STDs. The odds of catching something are very low, but is it worth putting your health at serious risk for anonymous blow jobs?

Swallowing and spitting likely have the same amount of risk. Even if he pulls out, there's pre-cum. So the long and short of it (hehe) is: this isn't the riskiest behavior, but it's risky nonetheless.

There was a time when I was seeing two women who were both nurses, and they wouldn't put my dick in their mouths without a condom. I made sure to get some nice flavored ones.

I suggest you get a boyfriend who loves blow jobs and can come multiple times in a session. Have him tested, and if he checks out then go to the theater with him and have him pretend he's a few different guys. You'll get your kicks and he'll be very grateful.

sugasm #152

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #153? Submit a link to your best post of the week by emailing me directly at radicalvixenatgmaildotcom

This Week’s Picks

Sugarbutch Star: Maze - The Girl in the Red Dress

“She’s the kind of girl who brings out the worst in me.”

treat or … fuck

“He looked like I had just given him a car for Christmas and he gently took my hand and led me upstairs. ”

A Life Exposed and Amplified

“We were breaking the rules and being dirty.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice

I told him I loved him. He gave me a pen.

More Sugasm

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Break On Through

Eiffel Tower

Fast Jenny

A Few Orgasms Before Bed

Geisha

Goodbye, my Love

lustlustlust

Mexican Girlfriend

Mixing business and pleasure

Mistaken Identity

Unblemished

Sex Advice

How to Have Anal Sex with a Big Penis

Is Fantasizing Wrong?

Is Sex Without Oral a Dealbreaker? You Decide.

Lasting Longer in Bed

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio

Georgia Jones wants to go for a ride

HNT. Forest Nymph

HNT! (One more cherry, popped.)

Kamila - The Restoration

More from the knee socks series

PSA: Breast Cancer Awareness

Seductor

Sex Work

Dating Civilians 101

Sex News, Reviews, & Interviews

A New Twist on an Anal Sex Toy

On Tuesday, Vote for Equality

BDSM & Fetish

-3 Days

Bad Girl

The big dodge

Blind date: Impressions of a Dom

Dirty Boy

egg scissors

Do you want to cum? How bad?

Jake gets Punished in Spanking Movie

Kneeling In Style

Long Night in Thee Cow Shed

Marked: An Open Letter

Mistress by Proxy, part 2 : the slut

The New Bath Brush

Pimping him out

Pondering Piercings

Quickie

Sex Humour

Friday Poem: Achy Achy Cunt

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

HNT-Time

Hubby’s Halloween Hit. Confession #167

The Space Between

Two women, two stories

Advice: Is Fantasizing Wrong?

Q:
Ok so I am a happily married women for the past 13 years. We are very sexual and have always had as much sex as we can handle. My problem? I still LOVE to flirt and have fantasy's about other men and sometimes even women. I have had affair type relationships in the past and then have a few really good years. I always feel horrible and becasue not only is my husband wonderful, handsome and sexy. He is a awesome father to our three children and loves me totaly! I am always checking out other men and even get wet just thinking of them touching me. I don't want to loose my huband and screw things up so is there a help group or something I should do? Could this be a chemical thing? (no I don't do drugs.) Could this be inherited? (My father always had a wandering eye.)

A:
There is nothing wrong with fantasizing, or finding other people attractive. And flirting can be OK too. Monogamy is not a natural state, but I believe it's the best way to maintain a meaningful relationship. Thus we have to find outlets for our natural desires to fuck other people. The safest in every way is masturbating while fantasizing. No-one should feel guilty about this.

It might not work for you two, but you might be able to bring your fantasies openly into the bedroom with some role play or dirty talk. He might get turned on as you verbalize your fantasy about another man. Perhaps as you do this you can masturbate and he can join in by sucking your nipples or other tasty stuff, or he can play the part of that other guy who's "doing" you. Perhaps this will give you both permission to try some new sex tricks or positions.

Have you ever discussed with your husband whether he fantasizes about other women? If he's like most men, I assure you he does. And it may be a relief for him to talk about this with you and have you help him play out some fantasies.

If you feel compelled to act on your desires and fantasies you have to make a choice. As you know, affairs, whether sexual or just romantic, are a problem. I'm not moralizing here. It's just pragmatically true that you can't have an affair and give all you need to give to your marriage and family. An occasional screw on the side, done safely, with someone that you won't be tempted to have an ongoing relationship with, preferably out of town, can work. But you have to resign yourself to never spilling the beans. And you have to be prudent in protecting this fact from your husband. If you're not comfortable with this, do not do it. You may find it worthwhile to see a therapist to help you reconcile your lustful desires with your familial priorities.

Advice: He Outgrew His Toys

Q:
In the past, I used to masturbate to some of the toys I buy, but recently I feel like my penis has gotten bigger to the point that my last toy started to break apart after 2 weeks from the day I bought it. I don't know what to do at this
point and I don't want to buy any more if this keeps up!

A:
Excuse me, but is your name The Incredible Hulk? I think you need a more flexible toy than what you've been buying. Check out Fleshlight.