Tuesday, March 03, 2009

Advice: No Longer Uptight


I used to be very, VERY uptight about sex. I was raised very strictly Catholic. In my senior year of high school, I lost my virginity to a long time boyfriend. Neither of us knew anything about the world and, at the time, thought that we were perfect for each other and would be together forever. In the end, after going to college things between us ended. He had cheated on me and, needless to say, I was pissed. Anyways, long story short one of my new friends at college, who was thankfully fully apart from my small town and "sex without a relationship/marriage is bad" attitude, managed to talk me into going out with her and eventually having sex with a guy just for the fun of it. I loved it. It was just what I needed and through a process of discovery (and a few one night stands) I lost most of my sexual inhibitions and am able to pretty much be myself in the bedroom. I am now in a great stable relationship and engaged.

My problem is that I want to discuss this with my oldest and best friends. I have known them since we were in diapers and in the past discussed everything with them. I have no problems discussing things with my friends I have met since my sexual revelations. The problem lies with the one or two best friends I have had since high school. They knew how I was then, I even criticized their decisions to have sex. I told them about a couple of the sexual encounters I had and got a lot of backlash from it. They said things about how now I turned into the slut and remind me of just how uptight I used to be. I can't even get to talking about my feelings about this because of how much crap they give me about how I was 5 years ago!!! I miss having those in depth conversations with them about sex that I could when I was with my first. Ever since they found out that I had multiple partners I can't mention the word sex to them if I don't want to hear it.

How can I make them understand that I know I was wrong in the past and I have seen the light about sex? These are my best friends and I love them to death, I just want them to be able to accept me as I am now, not just as I was in high school.


I always like questions that start, "How can I make them understand...?" All you can do is explain yourself to them. It's up to them whether they wish to understand or call you names.

If these are truly still great friends, they will understand. They may not agree with what you have done or everything about what you do now, but they will find a way to be supportive.

If all they want to do is carp at you, call you a slut, complain about how uptight you used to be (after you admit that you were), then sadly they are no longer the friends they once were to you.

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