Saturday, March 21, 2009

Advice: Why can’t I get my wife aroused?

Recently married to wife who is 40. And had cervical cancer three years ago.
She has told me that she has had sex with more men then she can remember none of this mattered. I told her I love her and we moved on. Now however she doesn't ever seem interested in sex unless I initiate she has never had an orgasm with me and always seems real dry. Please help !

Did you even discuss sex before you got married? You might have received some insights.

I don't know if this is related, either physiologically or psychologically, to her cancer experience.

You say you've moved on from learning about her past experience, but it's obvious you're bugged because she used to screw a lot and now she doesn't want to. It's not about you. Women (and men) go through stages where they do different things.

If she's not experiencing pleasure when you have sex, that would be a good tip off to why she's not interested.

They key is getting her interested in finding a solution. She may not be getting aroused due to hormonal issues, and that certainly could be related to her cancer. I'm guessing even if she is not of menopausal age, she may have had a hysterectomy (sorry I'm not more informed on the subject of cervical cancer treatment).

Let's address possible physiological reasons first and suggest she consult her gynecologist about this.

But also ask her if there's any other possible reason she can think of that she's not interested in or having a good time with you in bed. She may need some different kinds or amounts of attention than you're used to.

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